June 21, 2023 - A New Adventure

It is a Wednesday and, finally, one without rain. It has been raining steadily for the past 2 weeks and this break of good fortune could not have come at a better time.

My aunt, Cherie, is flying in from Florida this evening for a surprise 80th birthday party for my mother this coming Saturday. I was supposed to bring my wheelchair-bound mother, Mary, to the Bangor International Airport to pick her up but her flight was delayed a few times. It was just over a year ago she flew in for my dad, her brother’s, funeral. The week she spent with my mother was full of hugs, tears, food and much laughter. Little Sister, as my mother calls her, had been missed in the last few decades. My parents did not travel. Rather, my father really wasn’t healthy enough to travel especially in the last ten years of his life. Heart attacks, RLS, high blood pressure…it would have been too hard on him.

My mother stayed with him, took care of him and catered to his every whim. His eyesight was steadily declining along with his weight and quality of life. I like to think now that he is free of pain looking down on us from on high with 20/20 vision.

During all 60 years they were together, my mother put my father first whether it was a television show or movie, what they ate for breakfast and dinner or who took the first shower. She did all the cooking and cleaning. In the last years she bathed him with sponge baths, cut his hair, kept his medications in order and put lotion on his dry skin. I was able to witness on more than one occasion after the lotion was well rubbed in to his hands the two meeting with a big kiss signaling the end of grooming before my mother would sit back in her wheelchair and my father back towards the kitchen table.

I miss that.

While it might not be the way of today, I try to emulate my mother in that regard. I do the cooking and cleaning in the home while my husband, Chad, takes care of the outside. He mows, weed whacks, snow blows, sprays for spiders and other bugs, keeps the cars maintained and, sometimes, will water my flowers. (I forget…a lot) He goes so far as to mow the two houses around ours as they are vacant and wants to make sure mice don’t start showing up on our doorstep. I often wonder if he would like to trade with me but I’m sure he thinks laundry is the deal breaker. I don’t blame him.

So why this little peek into my life right now?

You would think my posts on Facebook would be sufficient but those are mostly pictures of our children, posts of where my band is playing, our bass fishing happenings and cats. My cat, Charley, does make his fair share of appearances.

I do love cats.

Maybe this peek is because writing helps me put my feelings into words. I write all the time: Notes on scraps of paper, ideas on the back on an envelope, texts to myself, emails to myself so as not forget things to do, song lyrics in the middle of the night. All the time. I have notebooks lying around in every room of the house. There are so many thoughts in my head that I just need to get them out.

It could also come as I start back to school this Monday on my mother's actual 80th birthday. I have an Associate's Degree in Accounting but having a Bachelor's Degree in Creative Writing and English would serve me better. My first step toward that goal is a bit intimidating but my parents always said I could do whatever I set my mind to. Actually, my dad said I had "It". My mom says I "step in it" each time something good happens to me. In reality, it's my choices that give me what I want...with a little help from God thrown in. He has a way of steering me in the right direction.

I, as my husband says, am animated. In my walk, talk, mannerisms, voice...I am a walking, talking, singing cartoon character. With this much enthusiasm inside it has to be brought out in a creative way.

It's best not to be creative with numbers. That can get you into heaps of trouble.

Learning how to be a better writer has always been a goal of mine. Here is to a new chapter in my Book of Life I am writing: A new day, a new story, a new ending and a new beginning.

A Boy and His Books

When the pandemic started and the kids were kept home from school the remote learning started. I had bought all these wonderful workbooks to keep my son's brain stimulated but not overly. He thought it was great that "summer vacation" started early but was sad that he wouldn't see his teachers or his friends until the next school year (hopefully). He would miss his eighth grade graduation and the finals of the state portion of the National Geography BEE of which he was so proud to be a part of. I believe he had a good chance at placing. He loves geography.

The biggest thing I was worried about was his love of reading. I was afraid that he would lose it with not being assigned a book to read and do a project on. Mr. Morin's class was always fun for him and the projects he assigned were sometimes family oriented where we could all participate. We once went around our town of Pittsfield, Maine to shoot a small film. He edited it and it came out hilarious!

His assignments included the writing of stories. He was given a topic and then had to write a story around it. In most of them he included the character of Garfield the cat. He and his uncle Ray would watch the cartoon together a lot. So much so that Ray calls him 'Garfield' just for fun. The stories were cute and really made him stretch his imagination. Being descriptive when writing was difficult for him but it had come a long way since the beginning of the year.

So what could I do? I remembered that he still had a Kindle that my friend Lynne had given him a few years ago. On it were downloaded books of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Dog Man and Geronimo Stilton. I thought it was time for him to upgrade his reading level. I went online and found numerous blogs and articles on the books kids should read, specifically boys. They ranged from the classics to newer Newbery Award winners. I had heard of a few on the lists but many I had to do a little research on. I decided to make a compilation of the lists and then add in some of my favorites. When presented with it, Anderson said it was a good one. I took that as high praise from a kid that was going to have to read all summer. We went through it together.

He was able to show me which ones he had already read in school. Six was a good start! I told him we still had the copy of "The Indian in the Cupboard" by Lynne Reid Banks that used to be his Uncle Nate's. He said if Uncle Nate had read it then it had to be good. If that was his philosophy he was going to be pretty happy when he found out which book his stepdad, Chad, had read. I didn't know until I made the list and showed it to Chad that he had read the three books in The Black Stallion series as a kid.

So the reading began. After "The Indian in the Cupboard" came 'The Call of the Wild' by Jack London. We watched the new movie with Harrison Ford after. When it was over he said it was kind of like the book but it was missing "a whole bunch of stuff". Overall he liked it. He looked at the list and saw another Jack London book: 'White Fang'. He asked if it had a dog in it and I told him yes. Off to the Kindle we went and downloaded it right away.

For the weeks we didn't have enough to buy a book on the Kindle, Anderson would ride his bike to the Pittsfield Public Library to check out the book he wanted. He would take his phone with him in case there were any problems. There never were but he took it just in case. My thought is he wanted to catch a few Pokémon along the way. That was fine with me.

He was on a schedule. His bedtime is ten o'clock so at nine at night I would tell him to get his book and he could stay up and read until ten.  He does this every night. Not only is it good for him but reading just before bed makes you sleepy. He gets a great night's sleep every night. Sometimes he reads a chapter, sometimes two. I ask him every morning what went on in the book last night and he tells me. I always ask "Are you enjoying this book?" Sometimes it's a yes...sometimes it's an "It's okay". But not once has he ever said no. By the third or fourth chapter it's always a yes.

If there is a movie made about the book he has read then we watch it directly after. He has come to realize that you can't put an entire book into a two hour movie. But they did succeed in one.

'Old Yeller' by Fred Gipson has, so far, been just like the book. Disney did a great job with it including using dialog word for word in some spots. Both he and Chad had never seen the movie. I had watched it numerous times as child. I thought my crying at the pivotal scene would be nonexistent. Nope. This woman was a blubbering mess much to the delight of Anderson and Chad.

With four months of reading gone by and Anderson only being with me every other week he has completed fourteen books. Not every book on our list is serious in nature. Some are outright fun to read. He is currently on "Where the Red Fern Grows" by Wilson Rawls. Another movie this mom may need tissues for. And that's okay. The more books he reads, the more movies we'll watch together and the more things we have to talk about and discover.

Here is our list of books that you can use to start your child's reading list if you wish.

TITLE	AUTHOR
A Long Way from Chicago	Richard Peck
A Separate Peace	John Knowles
A Wrinkle in Time	Madeleine L’Engle
Artemis Fowl	Eoin Colfer
Blue Skin of the Sea	Graham Salisbury
Bridge to Terabithia	Katherine Paterson
Calvin and Hobbes	Bill Watterson
Canoeing with the Cree	Arnold Sevareid
Captains Courageous	Rudyard Kipling
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory	Roald Dahl
David Copperfield	Charles Dickens
Diary of a Wimpy Kid	Jeff Kinney
Ender’s Game	Orson Scott Card
Geronimo Stilton	Elisabetta Dami
Goosebumps	R.L. Stine
Harris and Me	Gary Paulsen
Harry Potter	JK Rowling
Hatchet	Gary Paulsen
Heart of a Champion	Carl Deuker
Heat	Mike Lupica
Holes	Louis Sachar
I Survived	Lauren Tarshis
James and the Giant Peach	Roald Dahl
Lord of the Rings Trilogy	J. R. R. Tolkien
Maniac Magee	Jerry Spinelli
My Side of the Mountain	Jean Craighead George
Old Yeller	Fred Gipson
Red Badge of Courage	Stephen Crane
Rocket Boys	Homer Hickham, JR
Shiloh	Phyllis Reynold Naylor
That Was Then, This is Now	S.E. Hinton
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn	Mark Twain
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer	Mark Twain
The American Boy’s Handy Book	Daniel Beard
The Art of Manliness	Brett and Kate McKay
The Black Stallion	Walter Farley
The Blue Star	Tony Earley
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas	John Boyne
The Boy Scouts Handbook
The Call of the Wild	Jack London
The Cay	Theodore Taylor
The Chocolate War	Robert Cormier
The Chronicles of Narnia	C.S. Lewis
The Complete Maus	Art Spiegelman
The Dangerous Book for Boys	Conn and Hal Iggulden
The Giver	Lois Lowry
The Graveyard Book	Neil Gaiman
The Hardy Boys Series (1-5)	Franklin Dixon
The Indian in the Cupboard	Lynne Reid Banks
The Invention of Hugo Cabret	Brian Selznik
The Johnny Dixon Series	John Bellairs
The Last Mission	Harry Mazer
The Little Britches Series	Ralph Moody
The Lord of the Flies	William Golding
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane	Kate DiCamillo
The Neverending Story	Ralph Manhein
The Outsiders	S.E. Hinton
The Phantom Tollbooth	Norton Juster
The Story of King Arthur and His Knights	Howard Pyle
The Thief of Always	Clive Barker
The Trumpet of the Swan	E.B. White
To Build A Fire	Jack London
To Kill A Mockingbird	Harper Lee
Treasure Island	Robert Louis Stevenson
Watership Down	Richard Adams
Where the Red Fern Grows	Wilson Rawls
White Fang	Jack London
Wonder	R.J. Palacio
Wonderstruck	Brian Selznik

True Tales of a Talker: Tale #1

In my field, being the senior medical biller for Maine Veterans' Homes, I am on the phone each and every day talking to representatives from different insurance companies from all around the world about claims. I absolutely love it! If you ask my parents and siblings, talking is probably what I do best. I do a lot of it. 

A lot.

Ask anyone who knows me and I can talk to anyone about anything. I start conversations with people in the grocery checkout line, waiting at the dentist's office or getting my oil changed. I'll strike up a chat with the elderly, middle-aged and children. My friend Craig Stutzman said I should have been a teacher because of the way I engage kids. Kids are easy to talk to. All they want is to be heard. I think that's what everyone wants: to be heard. 

The best part of talking to someone is what you learn about them. When I call insurance companies I always write down their name and make sure I say it two or three times in the first few minutes. Do you know how it makes people feel to hear their name said it a nice way? It feels incredible. 

Think about it.

How many times in a day do you hear your ACTUAL name? Not 'Mama', not 'Ma'am', not 'Doctor'. YOUR name. It's very few and far between. And when you hear it, you want to hear it in a good way. It's nice to have someone call you by your name. Ask David Allen Coe. He would appreciate it, too.

The person I am on the phone with wants that same thing. You will never know who they just spoke to or if that person was polite to deal with. They could have just been chewed out by an angry biller or a policy holder. YOU are the next opportunity they have to help someone. It's not their fault your claim processed wrong. It's not right to be upset with them. It's the situation you're upset with. Do what you can to diffuse their preconceived notion about you because, if you've been in the business of answering ANY kind of phone for an extended period of time, you gravitate toward that mentality.

The person I spoke with today was "Janet". She started out pleasant and in her voice I could tell she was younger than I am. Being forty-five now, it's not hard to be. I do have a very young sounding voice myself and am mistaken for a twenty-something on the phone all the time. I don't mind it. When the opportunity arose I decided to do what I do best: talk with her.

Why not?

"Janet" works for Medicare and she was doing her best to help me with a claim. Oftentimes there is silence on the line when making these calls. And I know it's because the representative is concentrating on the task at hand.  Being who I am, I pick a topic out of thin air. For example, last night I watched a video of Scott Hamilton at the Olympics. I pipe up and say "I know this sounds weird but" and I start most of my conversations that way "you sound younger than I am. I was wondering, do you remember the 1984 Winter Olympics in Sarajevo with all the ice skating and stuff?" 

She giggled. "That's not possible. I was born in 1997 so I wasn't even around then." 

I started talking about how my family and I would watch the Olympics together and our favorite was the ice skating competition with Scott Hamilton, Katrina Witt and Torvill and Dean. I had a huge crush on Kurt Browning later on in life. She went on to tell me her Aunt actually participated in the Olympics in Track and Field during her childhood years so the Olympics are a huge deal in their home. She confided in me that she didn't like running at all; that she would rather play softball. She went on to explain she used to play year round because in Texas you can do that. 

She was from Texas! I heard no trace of a drawl so that was unexpected. I love surprises!

We then went on to talk about how we are both dealing with the "pandemic". She said when she attended high school the "swine flu" was going around and they just sent the kids to school anyway. She was a bit jealous that her brother and sister were getting the option of either returning to the classroom or virtual learning. She was even amazed how her sister was able to have her senior pictures taken. They didn't think it would be possible with all the social distancing being done. I told her that I would be talking with my son's father about the new school year and what we want to do. With this new school year and being a freshman, he won't have the normal first day jitters of experiencing the even more crowded hallways and the few minutes dash to the next classroom while trying to find your locker and your friends. She admitted things are definitely different in this day and age. "This day and age" for her was about five years from when she graduated high school herself. 

Yes, things have changed. 

As we concluded our phone call with the claim information I needed, she said it was a pleasure talking to me and that it was a nice change from the regular calls she received day in and day out. It was definitely a highlight of my day. The phone call was a quick fifteen minute conversation between two people who will never meet but I can guarantee that the next time I call and she answers, she'll remember me. 

And I'll remember "Janet".

Seminary and the New School Year

Anderson and I had a good talk the other day about serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It isn't required. It is by a person's choice to do so. He has made up his mind to go. It will happen in 4 or 5 years depending on when he turns 18. September 1st is a tough day for a birthday when you're LDS. College will have started that August so he will probably have to wait until the next year.

With it brings a list of things to do. This list becomes HIS list that includes 6am Seminary scripture study every morning before school throughout his entire high school years, saving the $10,000 to go on the mission and keeping his heart open to the possibility of wherever Heavenly Father might send him. He really wants to serve in another country which may require the learning of a new language.

I have shared with him the videos of his friends from church receiving their mission calls: some serving right here in New England, some to the western United States, one to Peru and, now, another to Copenhagen, Denmark. He jokes how he would like to be sent to Chad...because, well, he thinks it would be funny to be where his stepdad's name is. Other times he chooses Poland. Why? I have no idea. And then other times he thinks about Australia or maybe somewhere he could speak French. He loves learning the French language and can't wait for school to start to do so. He knows he can't choose WHERE but he is excited for the day when he gets that email to finally tell him where he will be spending 2 years of his young adult life preaching the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.

Just hearing that he wants to serve Heavenly Father in this way makes my heart happy and sad and scared. Happy that he will grow and learn things, meet new people and have experiences he would otherwise not have. Sad that he won't be here to hug at anytime or be just a few minutes away. Scared that he may be in another country where things aren't so pleasant.

Wherever he goes, he will have my heart with him. 💙

I came across this video of a stellar athlete Tyler Haws from Long Peak High School in Utah called A Work In Progress. It made me think of his friend, Jackson Dudley. It takes a good look into the hard work and dedication kids put into, not only sports, but their lives and trying to be the best they can be on and off the court. While Anderson isn't involved in any sports at the moment he will be looking for ways to support his high school teams and become a teammate in some way. Being part of a team helps kids learn to work with others and focus on achieving a goal. It also teaches it takes a team to do it and not just a single person. Every person has something individual to offer...being part of a team and having a good leader take those parts and intertwine them to make that whole is what makes a team great! It is my hope he can be part of a team to have that happen if not in sports then in some other way.

So in September when the 5AM alarm rings for study, the getting out of bed will eventually become routine. It will be the beginning of another chapter in his life. Not just high school but the school of life and responsibility and commitment to God, himself and who he will become. It's going to be quite the journey but I promise I will be there every step of the way.

Keep Being The School Mom

I can’t help it. I’m one of those moms. You know the ones that are excited for school to begin?

That’s me.

I’m not excited because it means that gives me a break from them. Heck, if I could I’d be in their classrooms everyday making sure they are paying attention, their shoes are tied and they carry the three in the math problem.

Ok, not really, but sometimes I wish I could be.

What I’m looking forward to is their own excitement of returning to class. I know children SAY they don’t want to go back but (secretly) they kind of do.

The friends they don’t get to hang out with over the summer will be there. The fall activities such as sports, drama and marching band are things they enjoyed and look forward to. It gets them back to being creative, talkative and interested in something again besides their phones which, and I know you’d agree with me here, is something we all wish they would spend less time with.

My stepdaughter checked Infinite Campus (our school portal) for her new classes every day for about three weeks wondering when it would be updated so she could see what her schedule would be. It’s new and exciting for her because she is starting seventh grade and that means it will be her first year with more than one teacher. She called me yesterday to tell me all about her classes and which friends were in which class with her.

My son loved his schedule because he found out his science class was his first class of the day and it is his absolute favorite. His teacher, Mr. Rodrigue, he says, is the best and makes it so much fun for him to learn.

What mom wouldn’t get excited about hearing those words?

He also noticed he would be in Advanced Algebra and that, he stated, was the hardest math class there was. He was happy about it but looked a little worried. I told him he should take it as a compliment that his math teacher last year had enough confidence in him that he thought he could handle it. He should be proud. He was fine after hearing that.

My stepson, a junior this year, actually said his schedule was “cool”.  I’d call that winning!

I’m excited for them. I will take pics on their first day of school (again) because that’s what moms do. We get to take two pictures a year: the first and last day and post them for all the world to see. All the rest are candids (don’t tell the kids!). It won’t be much longer until that stops happening. Begrudgingly, they smile for the camera then turn and walk into the building where they will be spending so much time. While they’re there, you’ll wonder and worry if they’re learning, paying attention, doing their work and passing it in on time. You check the Infinite Campus each day to make sure they aren’t behind on their assignments or if they tell you they have no homework you ask them about the assignment it says is due tomorrow. So there really is homework? Well, what do you know!

I’m that parent.

I’m the one that will fuss about heavy backpacks, picture day and lunch money. I’ll sometimes hover around the table while they’re working to be there just in case they ask for help. I’ll make sure they have a way to transport their projects they work so hard on to make sure they don’t get ruined before their presentation.

I’m excited!

I’m worried, too.

I will ask them who they sat with at lunch to make sure they aren’t lonely. I’ll ask what they learned that day to see if anything sparked their interest or if they’re having trouble in a subject. I’ll ask how they did on their test last week and, if they didn’t do very well, ask them what they think they can do or what they need to do better. Or if they did do well, I will congratulate them and tell them to keep it up!

I’m here for them.

They haven’t gone through many things in their young lives yet but, between myself and my husband, we have seen it all before. What is, might be or could happen to them is not unique as teenagers have been, well, teenagers for a million years.  But they THINK it is only happening to them and has never been experienced by anyone ever. Hopefully, they feel comfortable enough to tell us about the things that bother them or the situations they might be in and we can give them a little guidance along the way.

Being a teenager is not easy.

Neither is being a parent.

Whatever you can do to keep the lines of communications open between you and them, the teachers, the guidance counselors, the friends…keep them open.

Be excited. Be worried. Be there.

Keep being the mom.

One Mom’s Dream Passed to Her Son

I didn’t plan it. I didn’t push it on him. It was something he started to take interest in at school. When he started telling me about what he was doing, I thought “He’s just like me.”

At the age of twelve, my quest in life was to become an astronaut. It was just before the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster that took the life of school teacher Christa McAuliffe that my interests began to sway toward Astronomy. The stars were all I could think about. I studied the constellations, the phases of the moon and anything else I could get my hands on within books. I stayed outside at night just to look at them.

When I was in sixth grade, there was no internet and no readily handy ways to get information quickly. To do that I would have had to walk to the library for encyclopedias or books however my parents wouldn’t let me venture out alone. Fairfield, Maine was much different from where I started to grow up. Milford, Connecticut was a busy city while Fairfield was a small town. We had moved a few years earlier and mom and dad were still adjusting. My parents held onto the fear of their children being abducted in the streets. Going any where alone was forbidden. My knowledge was limited on space but I still thirsted for it.

Fast forward to today, my son, Anderson, has a uncanny interest in space just like I had. In fourth grade, he wrote small books on almost every planet and the moon for his fellow students to read. He wanted them to learn about them as much as he had. They were complete with title and pictures.

It hasn’t stopped there. We now watch the rocket launches on our television, movies that involve space (Star Wars, October Sky) and watch the meteor showers at night. The Perseid Meteor Shower is coming up this weekend. We won’t be able to watch it together on Saturday but we will on Sunday night. That will involve laying in the back of the car under blankets to stare into the night sky together and talk…about everything.

These are special moments with him I’ll never forget. Yesterday, I remembered getting in the mail when I was twelve a copy of a book that had to do with Dr. Robert Goddard, the engineer and physicist that built the first liquid-fueled rocket. Someone in my family, and I can’t remember who, sent me the book of the Goddard Rocket and Space Museum in Roswell, New Mexico. I recall reading it over and over. I found it this morning and sat down with Anderson.

I went on to tell him that my dream was to become an astronaut like him. Right away he told me I couldn’t do that because I get motion sickness. He is right. I can’t.

But he CAN.

I gave him the book I cherished so much and, with tears in my eyes, I told him “I want you to always be what you want to be. Never let anyone tell you that you can’t. Because you CAN.”

On the back of the book something caught his eye. “Mama, look!”  I followed his finger to the back cover.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The back cover had a red stamp on it that read:

COMPLIMENTS OF THE U.S. SENATE

COMMITTEE ON AERONAUTICAL AND SPACE SCIENCES

CHAIRMAN: SENATOR CLINTON P. ANDERSON, NEW MEXICO

Clinton is the town where we live and, of course, his name is Anderson. He became so excited and said “I think this is what I’m supposed to do.”

I think it is, too, and I’ll do everything I can to help him fulfill his dream.

Anderson Starts 3rd Grade!

I know. I know. EVERY kid starts school. But not with the tradition Anderson and I do!

You see, every year he started a new grade, we have this special thing we do. And I hope it continues through grade 12. I think he'll be kind enough to humor his 48 year old mother then.

It's his breakfast!

Each 1st day of school starts the same: with a Happy Pancake!

This year he wants it with a '1st Day' on it. THAT was challenging but I figured it out!

Below you can see the pictures through the years...from Kindergarten all the way up to now!

It's amazing how time flies. Now, he picks out his own school clothes. He has the routine down, too. First breakfast, then brushing teeth, then clothes, then shoes...all without asking. Mom's help no longer needed except when he can't find his socks.

Parents, be active in your child's school life. Ask questions about their day, contact the teacher BEFORE the parent/teacher conference happens to see if there's anything you can do to help your child with their learning. CHECK THEIR HOMEWORK! Nothing's better than a child's face that lights up with a 'GOOD JOB!". These years are what helps them grow into the person they become. Set a good example of how they should treat THEIR children when they have them. And most of all, LOVE THEM! And show it as much as you can!

And here is the link to that wonderful poem Randy McCoy reads every year on B98.5 that makes me cry:

I Trust You'll Treat Her Well.