True Tales of a Talker: Tale #1

In my field, being the senior medical biller for Maine Veterans' Homes, I am on the phone each and every day talking to representatives from different insurance companies from all around the world about claims. I absolutely love it! If you ask my parents and siblings, talking is probably what I do best. I do a lot of it. 

A lot.

Ask anyone who knows me and I can talk to anyone about anything. I start conversations with people in the grocery checkout line, waiting at the dentist's office or getting my oil changed. I'll strike up a chat with the elderly, middle-aged and children. My friend Craig Stutzman said I should have been a teacher because of the way I engage kids. Kids are easy to talk to. All they want is to be heard. I think that's what everyone wants: to be heard. 

The best part of talking to someone is what you learn about them. When I call insurance companies I always write down their name and make sure I say it two or three times in the first few minutes. Do you know how it makes people feel to hear their name said it a nice way? It feels incredible. 

Think about it.

How many times in a day do you hear your ACTUAL name? Not 'Mama', not 'Ma'am', not 'Doctor'. YOUR name. It's very few and far between. And when you hear it, you want to hear it in a good way. It's nice to have someone call you by your name. Ask David Allen Coe. He would appreciate it, too.

The person I am on the phone with wants that same thing. You will never know who they just spoke to or if that person was polite to deal with. They could have just been chewed out by an angry biller or a policy holder. YOU are the next opportunity they have to help someone. It's not their fault your claim processed wrong. It's not right to be upset with them. It's the situation you're upset with. Do what you can to diffuse their preconceived notion about you because, if you've been in the business of answering ANY kind of phone for an extended period of time, you gravitate toward that mentality.

The person I spoke with today was "Janet". She started out pleasant and in her voice I could tell she was younger than I am. Being forty-five now, it's not hard to be. I do have a very young sounding voice myself and am mistaken for a twenty-something on the phone all the time. I don't mind it. When the opportunity arose I decided to do what I do best: talk with her.

Why not?

"Janet" works for Medicare and she was doing her best to help me with a claim. Oftentimes there is silence on the line when making these calls. And I know it's because the representative is concentrating on the task at hand.  Being who I am, I pick a topic out of thin air. For example, last night I watched a video of Scott Hamilton at the Olympics. I pipe up and say "I know this sounds weird but" and I start most of my conversations that way "you sound younger than I am. I was wondering, do you remember the 1984 Winter Olympics in Sarajevo with all the ice skating and stuff?" 

She giggled. "That's not possible. I was born in 1997 so I wasn't even around then." 

I started talking about how my family and I would watch the Olympics together and our favorite was the ice skating competition with Scott Hamilton, Katrina Witt and Torvill and Dean. I had a huge crush on Kurt Browning later on in life. She went on to tell me her Aunt actually participated in the Olympics in Track and Field during her childhood years so the Olympics are a huge deal in their home. She confided in me that she didn't like running at all; that she would rather play softball. She went on to explain she used to play year round because in Texas you can do that. 

She was from Texas! I heard no trace of a drawl so that was unexpected. I love surprises!

We then went on to talk about how we are both dealing with the "pandemic". She said when she attended high school the "swine flu" was going around and they just sent the kids to school anyway. She was a bit jealous that her brother and sister were getting the option of either returning to the classroom or virtual learning. She was even amazed how her sister was able to have her senior pictures taken. They didn't think it would be possible with all the social distancing being done. I told her that I would be talking with my son's father about the new school year and what we want to do. With this new school year and being a freshman, he won't have the normal first day jitters of experiencing the even more crowded hallways and the few minutes dash to the next classroom while trying to find your locker and your friends. She admitted things are definitely different in this day and age. "This day and age" for her was about five years from when she graduated high school herself. 

Yes, things have changed. 

As we concluded our phone call with the claim information I needed, she said it was a pleasure talking to me and that it was a nice change from the regular calls she received day in and day out. It was definitely a highlight of my day. The phone call was a quick fifteen minute conversation between two people who will never meet but I can guarantee that the next time I call and she answers, she'll remember me. 

And I'll remember "Janet".

Just Me and My Dad

It's not often a forty-two year old woman gets to sit at the foot of her father and read to him.

But today I did.

I visited my mother and father after work this evening and brought them some information I thought he might like to hear. My sister, Audrey, was finishing up their few dishes in the sink when I arrived.

My dad is a proud veteran of the US Navy having served during the time of the Korean War. He was aboard the USS Newport News from 1956 until 1957. In their home hangs a beautiful picture of the ship he was on. They had nicknamed it 'The Grey Ghost from the East Coast'. When I was little I would ask him questions about the 'boat' as I called it and he would point out where he manned the five inch guns.

He never talked about being in the armed forces much. Every now and then I bring it up and a story might happen to make its way out to be told. My dad is a few months shy of eighty-one so it's understandable not remembering too much of things that happen sixty years ago.

But remember he does.

I sat on the floor next to his recliner and started to read aloud the article of his ship. It was interesting to find out it was the very first fully-air conditioned ship in the US Navy. When I said a certain Admiral's name, my mother started to laugh and said "that's the one he punched". She didn't elaborate any further. My dad didn't expand on it either. I guess that's a story for another time.

It mentioned many different cities the ship had visited: Barcelona, New Orleans, Balboa, Guantanamo Bay. The most fascinating place to me was the Panama Canal. I had not read the entire piece before I arrived so I was amazed when I read it. I looked up at him and asked "YOU went through the Panama Canal?"

Not missing a beat he replied "Well, you had to. If you didn't, you'd have to go all the way around to get where we were going."

That's when a story came to light. He remembered when one of his shipmates was down in the boiler room. He radioed up he wanted a cigarette. One of the crewmen brought it down and when the soldier lit it up, the room exploded. Two men died and another two were injured. Ten minutes later, he said, he was radioed again saying he had a phone call from his mother. Thinking something had happened to her, he ran to pick it up. He asked if she was alright and she said she was fine. Then she asked if he was. Confused he said he was and wondered why she was calling. Somehow it made the news that there was an explosion aboard his ship! The Grey Ghost's phone lines were 'blowing up' with calls from worried moms and dads making sure their sailors were unharmed.

Then, he gave me a request.

My husband, Chad, and I are taking our blended family on its first family vacation. We had told my parents a few months ago were were headed to Washington, D.C. to take in all the monuments and museums.

My father said at the Korean Memorial it has a computer program inside its building where you can search for a soldier's name and the time they served. My father has asked me to go and search for him. I hope I find him. I'll do more research on what he's talking about but if his name is anywhere in Washington, D.C. I want to find it and show him.

I wonder how many more stories I'll hear from him. The unusual thing about my father is he hardly ever tells the same story twice. They're always new. At least to me they are. When we get back from our trip, I look forward to sitting with him and showing him all the amazing ways our country has remembered its soldiers. Most of all, I just look forward to spending time with him.