True Tales of a Talker #4: The Flat Tire Edition

 

There is a story with every person on the planet. Each one is completely different than the last. Think about it. Just as no two fingerprints or snowflakes are the same, there are no two people that are the same.  There may be identical twins or triples but no two human beings in this world are exactly the same. 

And each life is amazing.

You can learn so much from just a few minutes of conversation with a complete stranger. That's what I did on a hot summer day in August 2020.

I was headed to pick up my son from paintball at my friend Julie's house when I saw my turn coming up. As I got closer I saw an old woman parked at a stop sign with a red car directly behind her. There was no one behind me so as I slowed to take the turn I asked if she needed help. She said she had a flat tire. I told her to move her car into the parking lot and I would help. When she had successfully moved her car into the dirt lot the red car moved up and sped away.

I pulled in and could see the passenger side rear tire was flat. She got out of the car and met me at her trunk. She said she had a spare and we unloaded all her packages to get to it. She didn't have a jack or wrench. Her son had taken them out a week ago because while using her car he too had a flat tire. I told her I would get mine. It wouldn't take long to change it out. 

I introduced myself and she told me her name was Maryann. She had been traveling from her apartment in Levant to medical appointments in Augusta. That's a seventy mile trip and takes over an hour. Something was telling me she wouldn't be making those appointments on a donut. It was already four o'clock.

I got her spare tire out and went to my car to get my things. I had never seen my spare tire, tire iron or jack because, truth be told, I hadn't thought to ever look. I had never needed them before.

I put down a blue sweatshirt to protect my knees from the gravel and got my first real glimpse at the tire. Not only was it completely flat, it also had no tread and was bulging out in one spot. It was no wonder it had gone flat. I went about jacking the car. I located the frame and lifted it up. I put my tire iron to the first lug nut and found it was too big. 

What was I going to do?

I told her I would call my friend Julie who lived about 10 houses down and ask her to bring hers over to see if it would fit. She said she would bring them down right away.

All this time people were driving past and looking at us. They would drive past the road or even turn up the side road and rubberneck to see what was happening. You could clearly see the spare tire, the jacked up car and the tools from every angle. 

Yet no one else stopped.

Until I flagged down a sheriff.

Somerset County Deputy Sheriff Stephen Arminger pulled in and asked if he could help. I explained the situation and he went immediately to the problem and took a look. He got the tire iron out of his vehicle and tried it.

Still too big.

He said he lived just up the road.  He would drive there and bring his back. His iron had 4 sizes. One HAD to fit.

While he was gone, I talked to Maryann. What else was there to do?

Maryann was one of seven children. She was the fourth in line. First came triples, then her and then three brothers. I told her I came from a large family too. There were nine in mine. She said it was just her and her youngest brother left. She was seventy-two and helped take care of a ninety-two year old man who lived alone. 

Maryann had four children: two daughters and two sons. She lived with one daughter because she had medical problems and her daughter helped to take care of her.  Her other daughter lives in Kansas City, Missouri and works for an eye doctor.  One of her sons moved in with them after the COVID-19 virus hit. He was just accepted into college. She said he had just turned twenty-five and told her it was time to to do "big boy things".

I asked her if I could call anyone for her and she said no. If she could just get back home, she would be okay.

Julie arrived with her tire iron and it was too big as well. Deputy Arminger came back and, sure enough, brought his four-sided iron. It turned out he and Julie knew each other.  While we were trying to figure out what to do, a Pittsfield police cruiser had turned in to see what was going on. 

Officer Jeff Vanadestine offered his assistance as well. He saw Deputy Arminger in his attempt to loosen the lug nuts but to no avail. The wrench didn't fit some and the ones it did fit were on too tight.They put their heads together and decided to call a friend of theirs that lived on the outskirts of Palmyra. It would take him about fifteen minutes to arrive. He owned a towing business.

Julie had to head home to a house of boys who were playing paintball while being supervised by her husband, Brett. She said she would drop off Anderson to me since I wasn't far away. The officers stayed and struck up a conversation with Maryann. I stayed too. My jack was still under her car but I really just wanted to keep her company. We had already been there an hour. What was a few more minutes?

So I talked. 

More.

I told her the story of when I was eight months pregnant in 2006 with my only son, Anderson. I was driving from Oakland to Waterville when I discovered I had a flat tire myself. I pulled over and thought "Well, time to get dirty." I put my hazards on and started getting the spare tire and equipment out of my trunk. 

What I didn't notice was that where I pulled over was directly across from KMD Driving School. Owner Mike Perkins was in a car with one of his students and saw what was happening. As I remember from him telling me a few years back he told the student to pull in behind me. The student asked why and he told him "You're getting your first real lesson on how to change a tire." The young mas said "Why?" Mike looked at the young man and asked him "You'd seriously leave a pregnant woman to change a tire on the side of a busy road by herself? Remember this, son, whatever you put into this world is what you're going to get out of it." 

Back to 2020 and Mike Perkins is now a 2nd term State Representative.

I called my son's scout leaders to tell them we would be a little late for our meeting and what was happening. They said it was fine and that they'd see us when we got there. Julie stopped and dropped off Anderson and I told him what was happening. I also introduced him to Maryann. About fifteen minutes later the tow truck arrived and the man from All Time Towing and Recovery immediately put a jack under the car. I removed mine and packed up my car. I gave Maryann a huge hug and she said thank you. She asked what I owed her. I told her I didn't do anything. All I wanted was for her to get home safely. 

I am a lover of country music and one of the songs that sticks out to me is a song by one of my favorite writers, David Lee Murphy. Sure you may know 'Dust on the Bottle' but my absolute favorite song by him is 'The Road You Leave Behind' . It never made it to #1 on the charts but it became #1 in many listeners hearts including mine. The lyrics tell the story of a young David traveling in the backseat of his dad's car when his father stops to change a family's tire in the rain. When David asks why he did it the chorus rings out:

"The road your leave behind you

Is another road you're gonna have to come back down.

It's just the way this big old world turns 'round.

You'll find somehow somewhere someplace sometime

You gotta go back down the road you leave behind."

I remember them stopping. I remember them helping. I remember not taking anything and not asking for it either.

I also know after talking to Mike many years later that the young man never forgot the lesson. I hope Anderson remembers on this day I stopped to try and help and the wonderful officers and business owner who helped as well.

It's a lesson well worth remembering.

A Boy and His Books

When the pandemic started and the kids were kept home from school the remote learning started. I had bought all these wonderful workbooks to keep my son's brain stimulated but not overly. He thought it was great that "summer vacation" started early but was sad that he wouldn't see his teachers or his friends until the next school year (hopefully). He would miss his eighth grade graduation and the finals of the state portion of the National Geography BEE of which he was so proud to be a part of. I believe he had a good chance at placing. He loves geography.

The biggest thing I was worried about was his love of reading. I was afraid that he would lose it with not being assigned a book to read and do a project on. Mr. Morin's class was always fun for him and the projects he assigned were sometimes family oriented where we could all participate. We once went around our town of Pittsfield, Maine to shoot a small film. He edited it and it came out hilarious!

His assignments included the writing of stories. He was given a topic and then had to write a story around it. In most of them he included the character of Garfield the cat. He and his uncle Ray would watch the cartoon together a lot. So much so that Ray calls him 'Garfield' just for fun. The stories were cute and really made him stretch his imagination. Being descriptive when writing was difficult for him but it had come a long way since the beginning of the year.

So what could I do? I remembered that he still had a Kindle that my friend Lynne had given him a few years ago. On it were downloaded books of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Dog Man and Geronimo Stilton. I thought it was time for him to upgrade his reading level. I went online and found numerous blogs and articles on the books kids should read, specifically boys. They ranged from the classics to newer Newbery Award winners. I had heard of a few on the lists but many I had to do a little research on. I decided to make a compilation of the lists and then add in some of my favorites. When presented with it, Anderson said it was a good one. I took that as high praise from a kid that was going to have to read all summer. We went through it together.

He was able to show me which ones he had already read in school. Six was a good start! I told him we still had the copy of "The Indian in the Cupboard" by Lynne Reid Banks that used to be his Uncle Nate's. He said if Uncle Nate had read it then it had to be good. If that was his philosophy he was going to be pretty happy when he found out which book his stepdad, Chad, had read. I didn't know until I made the list and showed it to Chad that he had read the three books in The Black Stallion series as a kid.

So the reading began. After "The Indian in the Cupboard" came 'The Call of the Wild' by Jack London. We watched the new movie with Harrison Ford after. When it was over he said it was kind of like the book but it was missing "a whole bunch of stuff". Overall he liked it. He looked at the list and saw another Jack London book: 'White Fang'. He asked if it had a dog in it and I told him yes. Off to the Kindle we went and downloaded it right away.

For the weeks we didn't have enough to buy a book on the Kindle, Anderson would ride his bike to the Pittsfield Public Library to check out the book he wanted. He would take his phone with him in case there were any problems. There never were but he took it just in case. My thought is he wanted to catch a few Pokémon along the way. That was fine with me.

He was on a schedule. His bedtime is ten o'clock so at nine at night I would tell him to get his book and he could stay up and read until ten.  He does this every night. Not only is it good for him but reading just before bed makes you sleepy. He gets a great night's sleep every night. Sometimes he reads a chapter, sometimes two. I ask him every morning what went on in the book last night and he tells me. I always ask "Are you enjoying this book?" Sometimes it's a yes...sometimes it's an "It's okay". But not once has he ever said no. By the third or fourth chapter it's always a yes.

If there is a movie made about the book he has read then we watch it directly after. He has come to realize that you can't put an entire book into a two hour movie. But they did succeed in one.

'Old Yeller' by Fred Gipson has, so far, been just like the book. Disney did a great job with it including using dialog word for word in some spots. Both he and Chad had never seen the movie. I had watched it numerous times as child. I thought my crying at the pivotal scene would be nonexistent. Nope. This woman was a blubbering mess much to the delight of Anderson and Chad.

With four months of reading gone by and Anderson only being with me every other week he has completed fourteen books. Not every book on our list is serious in nature. Some are outright fun to read. He is currently on "Where the Red Fern Grows" by Wilson Rawls. Another movie this mom may need tissues for. And that's okay. The more books he reads, the more movies we'll watch together and the more things we have to talk about and discover.

Here is our list of books that you can use to start your child's reading list if you wish.

TITLE	AUTHOR
A Long Way from Chicago	Richard Peck
A Separate Peace	John Knowles
A Wrinkle in Time	Madeleine L’Engle
Artemis Fowl	Eoin Colfer
Blue Skin of the Sea	Graham Salisbury
Bridge to Terabithia	Katherine Paterson
Calvin and Hobbes	Bill Watterson
Canoeing with the Cree	Arnold Sevareid
Captains Courageous	Rudyard Kipling
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory	Roald Dahl
David Copperfield	Charles Dickens
Diary of a Wimpy Kid	Jeff Kinney
Ender’s Game	Orson Scott Card
Geronimo Stilton	Elisabetta Dami
Goosebumps	R.L. Stine
Harris and Me	Gary Paulsen
Harry Potter	JK Rowling
Hatchet	Gary Paulsen
Heart of a Champion	Carl Deuker
Heat	Mike Lupica
Holes	Louis Sachar
I Survived	Lauren Tarshis
James and the Giant Peach	Roald Dahl
Lord of the Rings Trilogy	J. R. R. Tolkien
Maniac Magee	Jerry Spinelli
My Side of the Mountain	Jean Craighead George
Old Yeller	Fred Gipson
Red Badge of Courage	Stephen Crane
Rocket Boys	Homer Hickham, JR
Shiloh	Phyllis Reynold Naylor
That Was Then, This is Now	S.E. Hinton
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn	Mark Twain
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer	Mark Twain
The American Boy’s Handy Book	Daniel Beard
The Art of Manliness	Brett and Kate McKay
The Black Stallion	Walter Farley
The Blue Star	Tony Earley
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas	John Boyne
The Boy Scouts Handbook
The Call of the Wild	Jack London
The Cay	Theodore Taylor
The Chocolate War	Robert Cormier
The Chronicles of Narnia	C.S. Lewis
The Complete Maus	Art Spiegelman
The Dangerous Book for Boys	Conn and Hal Iggulden
The Giver	Lois Lowry
The Graveyard Book	Neil Gaiman
The Hardy Boys Series (1-5)	Franklin Dixon
The Indian in the Cupboard	Lynne Reid Banks
The Invention of Hugo Cabret	Brian Selznik
The Johnny Dixon Series	John Bellairs
The Last Mission	Harry Mazer
The Little Britches Series	Ralph Moody
The Lord of the Flies	William Golding
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane	Kate DiCamillo
The Neverending Story	Ralph Manhein
The Outsiders	S.E. Hinton
The Phantom Tollbooth	Norton Juster
The Story of King Arthur and His Knights	Howard Pyle
The Thief of Always	Clive Barker
The Trumpet of the Swan	E.B. White
To Build A Fire	Jack London
To Kill A Mockingbird	Harper Lee
Treasure Island	Robert Louis Stevenson
Watership Down	Richard Adams
Where the Red Fern Grows	Wilson Rawls
White Fang	Jack London
Wonder	R.J. Palacio
Wonderstruck	Brian Selznik

True Tales of a Talker: Tale #1

In my field, being the senior medical biller for Maine Veterans' Homes, I am on the phone each and every day talking to representatives from different insurance companies from all around the world about claims. I absolutely love it! If you ask my parents and siblings, talking is probably what I do best. I do a lot of it. 

A lot.

Ask anyone who knows me and I can talk to anyone about anything. I start conversations with people in the grocery checkout line, waiting at the dentist's office or getting my oil changed. I'll strike up a chat with the elderly, middle-aged and children. My friend Craig Stutzman said I should have been a teacher because of the way I engage kids. Kids are easy to talk to. All they want is to be heard. I think that's what everyone wants: to be heard. 

The best part of talking to someone is what you learn about them. When I call insurance companies I always write down their name and make sure I say it two or three times in the first few minutes. Do you know how it makes people feel to hear their name said it a nice way? It feels incredible. 

Think about it.

How many times in a day do you hear your ACTUAL name? Not 'Mama', not 'Ma'am', not 'Doctor'. YOUR name. It's very few and far between. And when you hear it, you want to hear it in a good way. It's nice to have someone call you by your name. Ask David Allen Coe. He would appreciate it, too.

The person I am on the phone with wants that same thing. You will never know who they just spoke to or if that person was polite to deal with. They could have just been chewed out by an angry biller or a policy holder. YOU are the next opportunity they have to help someone. It's not their fault your claim processed wrong. It's not right to be upset with them. It's the situation you're upset with. Do what you can to diffuse their preconceived notion about you because, if you've been in the business of answering ANY kind of phone for an extended period of time, you gravitate toward that mentality.

The person I spoke with today was "Janet". She started out pleasant and in her voice I could tell she was younger than I am. Being forty-five now, it's not hard to be. I do have a very young sounding voice myself and am mistaken for a twenty-something on the phone all the time. I don't mind it. When the opportunity arose I decided to do what I do best: talk with her.

Why not?

"Janet" works for Medicare and she was doing her best to help me with a claim. Oftentimes there is silence on the line when making these calls. And I know it's because the representative is concentrating on the task at hand.  Being who I am, I pick a topic out of thin air. For example, last night I watched a video of Scott Hamilton at the Olympics. I pipe up and say "I know this sounds weird but" and I start most of my conversations that way "you sound younger than I am. I was wondering, do you remember the 1984 Winter Olympics in Sarajevo with all the ice skating and stuff?" 

She giggled. "That's not possible. I was born in 1997 so I wasn't even around then." 

I started talking about how my family and I would watch the Olympics together and our favorite was the ice skating competition with Scott Hamilton, Katrina Witt and Torvill and Dean. I had a huge crush on Kurt Browning later on in life. She went on to tell me her Aunt actually participated in the Olympics in Track and Field during her childhood years so the Olympics are a huge deal in their home. She confided in me that she didn't like running at all; that she would rather play softball. She went on to explain she used to play year round because in Texas you can do that. 

She was from Texas! I heard no trace of a drawl so that was unexpected. I love surprises!

We then went on to talk about how we are both dealing with the "pandemic". She said when she attended high school the "swine flu" was going around and they just sent the kids to school anyway. She was a bit jealous that her brother and sister were getting the option of either returning to the classroom or virtual learning. She was even amazed how her sister was able to have her senior pictures taken. They didn't think it would be possible with all the social distancing being done. I told her that I would be talking with my son's father about the new school year and what we want to do. With this new school year and being a freshman, he won't have the normal first day jitters of experiencing the even more crowded hallways and the few minutes dash to the next classroom while trying to find your locker and your friends. She admitted things are definitely different in this day and age. "This day and age" for her was about five years from when she graduated high school herself. 

Yes, things have changed. 

As we concluded our phone call with the claim information I needed, she said it was a pleasure talking to me and that it was a nice change from the regular calls she received day in and day out. It was definitely a highlight of my day. The phone call was a quick fifteen minute conversation between two people who will never meet but I can guarantee that the next time I call and she answers, she'll remember me. 

And I'll remember "Janet".

Christmas and The Little Red-Haired Girl

Looking through my parent’s photo albums is one of my favorite things to do when I visit them. I always go back to the one album that has a very specific Christmas. I believe it was in 1980 when I was 6 years old and my little sister, Jenny was almost 5.

On the eve of Christmas, Santa happened to make a surprise visit to our home in the middle of dinner. You can probably tell how excited we were just by thinking about two little girls hearing sleigh bells and a loud "HO! HO! HO!" coming from the next room. We tried to dash to the living room but our mom told us we couldn't until we finished our dinner. That night's dinner, however, was not very appealing to the two of us. When I think about it now I am thankful we even had a dinner but at the time fish sticks were not very appetizing. We weren't to leave the table until our plates were clean. Jenny and I held out...so long that my mother (who in her heart really didn't want us to miss a visit with Santa) finally released us.

Rushing into the living room and seeing Santa sitting in my dad's recliner and his elf standing over his shoulder, I thought they looked an awful lot like our Uncle Charlie and his son. I asked mom is she saw the resemblance and she said no. Santa was asking Jenny what she wanted for Christmas and after talking with her he handed her a candy cane and set her off his lap. He motioned for me to come forward and I jumped up. With the bellowing "Ho, Ho, Ho" he asked me what I wanted as well. I can't remember what I said but I do remember getting the candy cane, too.

That night we were all sound asleep. At least some of us were. Around two o'clock in the morning, our brother, Ray, sisters Jane and Wendy came into our room and tried waking us both up quietly. Telling us to shush and not to wake up mom and dad, they had us leave our warm beds to go and spy on what Santa had left us!

With flashlights in their hands we followed them down the hall to the tree. It was like going into a bank vault to see the many bars of gold. Our eyes were huge as the lights gazed upon the filled everyday socks we used as stockings hanging on the window stool and then to the presents that piled beneath the tree. We must have been really good that year. With nine kids, seven of which still lived at home, there were so many. Jenny and I didn't know where to look first. We saw Jane shake one of the gifts and then we heard Ray make a noise. It was then were heard the ominous voice of my mother:

"GET IN THOSE BEDS!"

We were back to our beds faster than you can say "Dash away all!" Jenny and I were under our blankets thinking we were in so much trouble! After about fifteen minutes, our siblings ventured up from their basement bedrooms again and told us to come with them. I told them I didn't want to go because if we got caught again we might get the wooden spoon! They convinced me otherwise and again we all ventured stealthily into the living room.

They started to shine their lights on other parts of the room where there set four GIANT boxes! We all looked around them for name tags and could only see one: Wendy. I guess we would have to wait until Christmas morning. Just then, one of them made another noise and there was my mother's voice again:

"I SAID GET IN THOSE BEDS!"

That was it. The tone in her voice said she meant business. After that we all never left our beds for the rest of the night.

Hours later, morning arrived and all of us one by one ventured into the living room. The ONLY thing we were allowed to touch was our stockings. Inside the usual fare of candy, toothbrushes and doodads filled them almost to the top. We all wore knee socks so there was a lot to fill. It wasn't until mom had her two cups of coffee and put on her Santa hat that it was time for presents. She would sit near the tree, take a present and call out the name of whose it was. She would either hand it off to the person, the person would go and get it or she would toss it over to them. That year there were a lot to get through. 

We all had fun and used a giant black trash bag for all of the wrapping paper. The four huge boxes still remained. And for those boxes Dad wanted to be the one to hand those out. Dad called out Wendy's name first and she opened it up and it was a brand new state of the art stereo from Sears. It had a record player, AM/FM radio and cassette deck. She was so excited! Ray was called next and he revealed the same thing. Jane opened her box and, of course, the same exact stereo system was inside. But who was the last box for? There was no name on it.

Many years before, our sister Audrey had made a best friend of a young redheaded girl who lived a few streets away. Ever since, Trish has been a part of our family as well as her siblings. She came by for dinner usually on Mondays. Every Monday was spaghetti night and my mother made a huge metal bowl of it. I remember her taking a massive knife and cutting through the pile of it so it was cut into quarters. It was easier to serve and eat that way. Every now and then Trish would be wearing a white blouse and, inevitably, spaghetti would find its way onto it. They teased her about it but it was done with love. They would tell her “Don’t wear white on Mondays!” Trish was sweet and fun and we all loved her. Still do.

That Christmas morning, our mother called her house and asked her to come over. Trish came by and, being the very polite person she was, said “Merry Christmas, Mr. and Mrs. Everlith!” She still greets them the same way. I think my parents thought it was always good to have another kid in the house especially when they were as nice as Trish.

When we were all gathered in the living room my father explained to her that Santa had left one of her presents at our house. It was the last big box. She was so surprised she didn’t know what to say. We all knew what was in it and I remember Jenny and myself giggling because we knew she would love it. Santa had thought of everything!

She ripped the paper and opened the top of the box to reveal the brand new stereo. She had no words. It may have been thirty-nine years ago but I still remember her happy tears. She gave a big hug to our mom and dad and kept saying “thank you”. Audrey says she thinks they carried the stereo all the way back to her house on foot. 

I remember us many times not having a lot but I never remember a time when I ever wanted for anything. My parents taught me at a young age three very important lessons: to be thankful for what I had, never be too proud to ask for help when needed and to give back when I could. Those are lessons that I have never forgotten and all of us have never forgotten that Christmas day.

I'm Actually Doing Okay

 

I’m actually doing okay.

When I walked into work this morning I received a text from my husband saying that one of his coworkers wanted some of my lasagna. A few months ago I had shared a meatloaf with him and he enjoyed it. It brought a huge smile to my face and I texted back I would make some on Sunday. It would be a nice warm meal with the temperatures slowly dropping in the evenings this September. I haven’t made it in a while and it would be nice to share because no family can go through an entire pan in one night…at least MY lasagna.

As I entered my office area I said hello to the women I work with and one of them asked me “How are you doing?” I stopped and thought about it for a second and responded “You know what? I am actually doing okay. The kids are good. Chad is good. I’m good. I’m doing okay.”

I was surprised by my answer.

Usually when the question is asked people say an automatic answer of “I’m doing fine.”

But are they REALLY?

Have you ever stopped for a second and thought about what your answer might be? Today I was able to. In the span of a instant I was able to think and realize that life IS good. So many things happen in our lives every day. Some are needed by the way of our job and family life. Kids have after school activities and you feel more like a chauffer than a parent.  Those things can keep us very busy! Some situations we create ourselves. Those things we create can diminish time we could otherwise be spending with our family. Finding a balance is not easy but can be done.

In a split second I was able to think that our bills were paid, there was food in the house, the kids were showered and clean, school was going well for them, they were happy, our jobs have been steady and secure and our relationships between the two of us and with the children were going smooth.

Things are GOOD.

It’s a scary thing!

When did it all happen? Has it been this way for a while and I just didn’t see it? The answer is YES.

If we take the time to stop and have moments in the day where we can reflect on our lives and relationships it can help us determine what we're doing right, what might need a little work or even see signs of a struggle of a loved one we’ve never noticed before.  It’s all about taking the time to slow down and breathe. I, personally, take the time to breathe by saying my daily prayers once in the morning and once before bed. For me it helps me face the day and give thanks for the one that I had. You never know when we may never get another one.

Take time to stop and breathe and realize all YOU have. It is more than you think. And you’re blessed to have it.

 

 

 

Keep Being The School Mom

I can’t help it. I’m one of those moms. You know the ones that are excited for school to begin?

That’s me.

I’m not excited because it means that gives me a break from them. Heck, if I could I’d be in their classrooms everyday making sure they are paying attention, their shoes are tied and they carry the three in the math problem.

Ok, not really, but sometimes I wish I could be.

What I’m looking forward to is their own excitement of returning to class. I know children SAY they don’t want to go back but (secretly) they kind of do.

The friends they don’t get to hang out with over the summer will be there. The fall activities such as sports, drama and marching band are things they enjoyed and look forward to. It gets them back to being creative, talkative and interested in something again besides their phones which, and I know you’d agree with me here, is something we all wish they would spend less time with.

My stepdaughter checked Infinite Campus (our school portal) for her new classes every day for about three weeks wondering when it would be updated so she could see what her schedule would be. It’s new and exciting for her because she is starting seventh grade and that means it will be her first year with more than one teacher. She called me yesterday to tell me all about her classes and which friends were in which class with her.

My son loved his schedule because he found out his science class was his first class of the day and it is his absolute favorite. His teacher, Mr. Rodrigue, he says, is the best and makes it so much fun for him to learn.

What mom wouldn’t get excited about hearing those words?

He also noticed he would be in Advanced Algebra and that, he stated, was the hardest math class there was. He was happy about it but looked a little worried. I told him he should take it as a compliment that his math teacher last year had enough confidence in him that he thought he could handle it. He should be proud. He was fine after hearing that.

My stepson, a junior this year, actually said his schedule was “cool”.  I’d call that winning!

I’m excited for them. I will take pics on their first day of school (again) because that’s what moms do. We get to take two pictures a year: the first and last day and post them for all the world to see. All the rest are candids (don’t tell the kids!). It won’t be much longer until that stops happening. Begrudgingly, they smile for the camera then turn and walk into the building where they will be spending so much time. While they’re there, you’ll wonder and worry if they’re learning, paying attention, doing their work and passing it in on time. You check the Infinite Campus each day to make sure they aren’t behind on their assignments or if they tell you they have no homework you ask them about the assignment it says is due tomorrow. So there really is homework? Well, what do you know!

I’m that parent.

I’m the one that will fuss about heavy backpacks, picture day and lunch money. I’ll sometimes hover around the table while they’re working to be there just in case they ask for help. I’ll make sure they have a way to transport their projects they work so hard on to make sure they don’t get ruined before their presentation.

I’m excited!

I’m worried, too.

I will ask them who they sat with at lunch to make sure they aren’t lonely. I’ll ask what they learned that day to see if anything sparked their interest or if they’re having trouble in a subject. I’ll ask how they did on their test last week and, if they didn’t do very well, ask them what they think they can do or what they need to do better. Or if they did do well, I will congratulate them and tell them to keep it up!

I’m here for them.

They haven’t gone through many things in their young lives yet but, between myself and my husband, we have seen it all before. What is, might be or could happen to them is not unique as teenagers have been, well, teenagers for a million years.  But they THINK it is only happening to them and has never been experienced by anyone ever. Hopefully, they feel comfortable enough to tell us about the things that bother them or the situations they might be in and we can give them a little guidance along the way.

Being a teenager is not easy.

Neither is being a parent.

Whatever you can do to keep the lines of communications open between you and them, the teachers, the guidance counselors, the friends…keep them open.

Be excited. Be worried. Be there.

Keep being the mom.