When Daddy Sang

 

I sat there and tried not to let the tears flow. I really did try…but in the end I lost the battle…again.

Bing Crosby put me over the edge.

On a Sunday afternoon while home with my husband and son, I had the urge to watch a movie from my childhood. I wasn’t born until the mid 1970s but I grew up on black and white musicals from the 1940s and 1950s that television would broadcast on Saturday and Sunday afternoons much to my parents liking. That, for us, was family time. Stars such as Jane Powell, Fred Astaire and Mario Lanza would come thru the speaker of our 1960s Sears floor model television while I lay on my stomach watching intently.

Was this what people did in real life? Walk around and burst into song? They did it so, naturally, I followed suit. The hallways of school, the grocery store, dancing down the street: there wasn’t a place I could hide my excitement for life.  I was like a human version of Linda on Bob’s Burgers. At least, that’s what my family says.

It’s true.

I can remember Debbie Reynolds telling (or singing) to Gene Kelly “Here we are: Sunset and Camden!” during Singin’ in the Rain. Now, being 46, I arrive at a destination to drop someone off I will sing the same thing. There’s not a lamppost I haven’t hung off of or a park bench I haven’t tapped my feet under as I sit. It was all so REAL growing up, I have made it part of my life…part of me.

Sometimes it embarrasses my husband or my son. They have become pretty used to it and have ignored my theatrics for the most part. There are those times though. There are things they just don’t understand. Once I am able to tell them why I do the things I do, they are able to see me in a totally different way and I think I come off as not so crazy once they do.

While sitting on the couch watching “Going My Way” starring Bing Crosby I knew the part was coming up. I certainly tried to hold myself together but the dam burst and there I was wiping away the tears on my shirt sleeve.

Elder Father Fitzgibbon (Barry Fitzgerald) had come in out of the rain late one night and was put straight to bed by house keeper Mrs. Carmody (EIly Malyon) and Father Chuck O’Malley (Bing Crosby). The subject came up where Father Fitzgibbon had not been home to Ireland in 45 years. He missed his 90 year old mother. He always said he would go home if the church’s problems were solved and there was someone there to take care of things while he went for a visit. To fight off a bit of chill, Father Fitzgibbon mentioned that hidden in the bookcase was a music box that held a decanter of whisky and two shot glasses. When the case was opened the old Irish tune of “Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ra” began to play and made Father Fitzgibbons think of home. After a quick drink, Father O’ Malley sings the elderly priest (almost) to sleep while singing along with the music box.

It’s at this point of the movie my husband and son look at me like I’m completely nuts. What on earth could possibly make me bawl? It wasn’t like we were all watching Marley and Me all over again.

When the movie was over and I could breathe through my nose again, I said to them there was a reason I was crying. I explained the vivid memories of when I was a little girl.

There wasn’t a song my father couldn’t sing or whistle for that matter. Hearing my father’s voice boom throughout the house with a song from Bing Crosby or Perry Como was a normal thing on a weekend. My mother would play the records while she cleaned and my father would sing along. His voice was truly amazing. He sounded just like the records and the men in the movies I had watched over and over. Sometimes he would sweep my mother off her feet and dance her around whatever room they were in and sing at the top of his lungs. It was like watching “The King & I” on a Broadway stage right in our very own living room.

Back in 1974, the year I was born, Hoffman Distillery bottled their whisky in decanters shaped like leprechauns. The alcohol would come out of their hats and they had a music box attached to the bottom. My parents owned two of them. One of the played “When Irish Eyes Are Smiling” and the other “Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ra”. Being little and loving music, I would ask for them to play the music box of the latter. My father would sing along to that music box and, to this day, I can still hear his voice: Strong, deep and gentle. Bing Crosby had nothing on my dad.

Emphysema and COPD has silenced that beautiful singing voice. 65 years of smoking can do that to a person. He stopped smoking cold turkey six years ago after a heart attack scare. Doctors say he is with us now because he let go of that nasty vice. My mother followed suit a few years later. Each year, each DAY for that matter, that passes is another moment with them. I am so grateful.

My husband and son now know another little piece of why I am the way I am and do the things I do. If you see me in the grocery store dancing with my shopping cart or if I suddenly start singing my answers to your questions, you’ll now understand why.

It’s just me being me and thinking about my dad when he sang.

A Boy and His Books

When the pandemic started and the kids were kept home from school the remote learning started. I had bought all these wonderful workbooks to keep my son's brain stimulated but not overly. He thought it was great that "summer vacation" started early but was sad that he wouldn't see his teachers or his friends until the next school year (hopefully). He would miss his eighth grade graduation and the finals of the state portion of the National Geography BEE of which he was so proud to be a part of. I believe he had a good chance at placing. He loves geography.

The biggest thing I was worried about was his love of reading. I was afraid that he would lose it with not being assigned a book to read and do a project on. Mr. Morin's class was always fun for him and the projects he assigned were sometimes family oriented where we could all participate. We once went around our town of Pittsfield, Maine to shoot a small film. He edited it and it came out hilarious!

His assignments included the writing of stories. He was given a topic and then had to write a story around it. In most of them he included the character of Garfield the cat. He and his uncle Ray would watch the cartoon together a lot. So much so that Ray calls him 'Garfield' just for fun. The stories were cute and really made him stretch his imagination. Being descriptive when writing was difficult for him but it had come a long way since the beginning of the year.

So what could I do? I remembered that he still had a Kindle that my friend Lynne had given him a few years ago. On it were downloaded books of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Dog Man and Geronimo Stilton. I thought it was time for him to upgrade his reading level. I went online and found numerous blogs and articles on the books kids should read, specifically boys. They ranged from the classics to newer Newbery Award winners. I had heard of a few on the lists but many I had to do a little research on. I decided to make a compilation of the lists and then add in some of my favorites. When presented with it, Anderson said it was a good one. I took that as high praise from a kid that was going to have to read all summer. We went through it together.

He was able to show me which ones he had already read in school. Six was a good start! I told him we still had the copy of "The Indian in the Cupboard" by Lynne Reid Banks that used to be his Uncle Nate's. He said if Uncle Nate had read it then it had to be good. If that was his philosophy he was going to be pretty happy when he found out which book his stepdad, Chad, had read. I didn't know until I made the list and showed it to Chad that he had read the three books in The Black Stallion series as a kid.

So the reading began. After "The Indian in the Cupboard" came 'The Call of the Wild' by Jack London. We watched the new movie with Harrison Ford after. When it was over he said it was kind of like the book but it was missing "a whole bunch of stuff". Overall he liked it. He looked at the list and saw another Jack London book: 'White Fang'. He asked if it had a dog in it and I told him yes. Off to the Kindle we went and downloaded it right away.

For the weeks we didn't have enough to buy a book on the Kindle, Anderson would ride his bike to the Pittsfield Public Library to check out the book he wanted. He would take his phone with him in case there were any problems. There never were but he took it just in case. My thought is he wanted to catch a few Pokémon along the way. That was fine with me.

He was on a schedule. His bedtime is ten o'clock so at nine at night I would tell him to get his book and he could stay up and read until ten.  He does this every night. Not only is it good for him but reading just before bed makes you sleepy. He gets a great night's sleep every night. Sometimes he reads a chapter, sometimes two. I ask him every morning what went on in the book last night and he tells me. I always ask "Are you enjoying this book?" Sometimes it's a yes...sometimes it's an "It's okay". But not once has he ever said no. By the third or fourth chapter it's always a yes.

If there is a movie made about the book he has read then we watch it directly after. He has come to realize that you can't put an entire book into a two hour movie. But they did succeed in one.

'Old Yeller' by Fred Gipson has, so far, been just like the book. Disney did a great job with it including using dialog word for word in some spots. Both he and Chad had never seen the movie. I had watched it numerous times as child. I thought my crying at the pivotal scene would be nonexistent. Nope. This woman was a blubbering mess much to the delight of Anderson and Chad.

With four months of reading gone by and Anderson only being with me every other week he has completed fourteen books. Not every book on our list is serious in nature. Some are outright fun to read. He is currently on "Where the Red Fern Grows" by Wilson Rawls. Another movie this mom may need tissues for. And that's okay. The more books he reads, the more movies we'll watch together and the more things we have to talk about and discover.

Here is our list of books that you can use to start your child's reading list if you wish.

TITLE	AUTHOR
A Long Way from Chicago	Richard Peck
A Separate Peace	John Knowles
A Wrinkle in Time	Madeleine L’Engle
Artemis Fowl	Eoin Colfer
Blue Skin of the Sea	Graham Salisbury
Bridge to Terabithia	Katherine Paterson
Calvin and Hobbes	Bill Watterson
Canoeing with the Cree	Arnold Sevareid
Captains Courageous	Rudyard Kipling
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory	Roald Dahl
David Copperfield	Charles Dickens
Diary of a Wimpy Kid	Jeff Kinney
Ender’s Game	Orson Scott Card
Geronimo Stilton	Elisabetta Dami
Goosebumps	R.L. Stine
Harris and Me	Gary Paulsen
Harry Potter	JK Rowling
Hatchet	Gary Paulsen
Heart of a Champion	Carl Deuker
Heat	Mike Lupica
Holes	Louis Sachar
I Survived	Lauren Tarshis
James and the Giant Peach	Roald Dahl
Lord of the Rings Trilogy	J. R. R. Tolkien
Maniac Magee	Jerry Spinelli
My Side of the Mountain	Jean Craighead George
Old Yeller	Fred Gipson
Red Badge of Courage	Stephen Crane
Rocket Boys	Homer Hickham, JR
Shiloh	Phyllis Reynold Naylor
That Was Then, This is Now	S.E. Hinton
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn	Mark Twain
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer	Mark Twain
The American Boy’s Handy Book	Daniel Beard
The Art of Manliness	Brett and Kate McKay
The Black Stallion	Walter Farley
The Blue Star	Tony Earley
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas	John Boyne
The Boy Scouts Handbook
The Call of the Wild	Jack London
The Cay	Theodore Taylor
The Chocolate War	Robert Cormier
The Chronicles of Narnia	C.S. Lewis
The Complete Maus	Art Spiegelman
The Dangerous Book for Boys	Conn and Hal Iggulden
The Giver	Lois Lowry
The Graveyard Book	Neil Gaiman
The Hardy Boys Series (1-5)	Franklin Dixon
The Indian in the Cupboard	Lynne Reid Banks
The Invention of Hugo Cabret	Brian Selznik
The Johnny Dixon Series	John Bellairs
The Last Mission	Harry Mazer
The Little Britches Series	Ralph Moody
The Lord of the Flies	William Golding
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane	Kate DiCamillo
The Neverending Story	Ralph Manhein
The Outsiders	S.E. Hinton
The Phantom Tollbooth	Norton Juster
The Story of King Arthur and His Knights	Howard Pyle
The Thief of Always	Clive Barker
The Trumpet of the Swan	E.B. White
To Build A Fire	Jack London
To Kill A Mockingbird	Harper Lee
Treasure Island	Robert Louis Stevenson
Watership Down	Richard Adams
Where the Red Fern Grows	Wilson Rawls
White Fang	Jack London
Wonder	R.J. Palacio
Wonderstruck	Brian Selznik

Keep Being The School Mom

I can’t help it. I’m one of those moms. You know the ones that are excited for school to begin?

That’s me.

I’m not excited because it means that gives me a break from them. Heck, if I could I’d be in their classrooms everyday making sure they are paying attention, their shoes are tied and they carry the three in the math problem.

Ok, not really, but sometimes I wish I could be.

What I’m looking forward to is their own excitement of returning to class. I know children SAY they don’t want to go back but (secretly) they kind of do.

The friends they don’t get to hang out with over the summer will be there. The fall activities such as sports, drama and marching band are things they enjoyed and look forward to. It gets them back to being creative, talkative and interested in something again besides their phones which, and I know you’d agree with me here, is something we all wish they would spend less time with.

My stepdaughter checked Infinite Campus (our school portal) for her new classes every day for about three weeks wondering when it would be updated so she could see what her schedule would be. It’s new and exciting for her because she is starting seventh grade and that means it will be her first year with more than one teacher. She called me yesterday to tell me all about her classes and which friends were in which class with her.

My son loved his schedule because he found out his science class was his first class of the day and it is his absolute favorite. His teacher, Mr. Rodrigue, he says, is the best and makes it so much fun for him to learn.

What mom wouldn’t get excited about hearing those words?

He also noticed he would be in Advanced Algebra and that, he stated, was the hardest math class there was. He was happy about it but looked a little worried. I told him he should take it as a compliment that his math teacher last year had enough confidence in him that he thought he could handle it. He should be proud. He was fine after hearing that.

My stepson, a junior this year, actually said his schedule was “cool”.  I’d call that winning!

I’m excited for them. I will take pics on their first day of school (again) because that’s what moms do. We get to take two pictures a year: the first and last day and post them for all the world to see. All the rest are candids (don’t tell the kids!). It won’t be much longer until that stops happening. Begrudgingly, they smile for the camera then turn and walk into the building where they will be spending so much time. While they’re there, you’ll wonder and worry if they’re learning, paying attention, doing their work and passing it in on time. You check the Infinite Campus each day to make sure they aren’t behind on their assignments or if they tell you they have no homework you ask them about the assignment it says is due tomorrow. So there really is homework? Well, what do you know!

I’m that parent.

I’m the one that will fuss about heavy backpacks, picture day and lunch money. I’ll sometimes hover around the table while they’re working to be there just in case they ask for help. I’ll make sure they have a way to transport their projects they work so hard on to make sure they don’t get ruined before their presentation.

I’m excited!

I’m worried, too.

I will ask them who they sat with at lunch to make sure they aren’t lonely. I’ll ask what they learned that day to see if anything sparked their interest or if they’re having trouble in a subject. I’ll ask how they did on their test last week and, if they didn’t do very well, ask them what they think they can do or what they need to do better. Or if they did do well, I will congratulate them and tell them to keep it up!

I’m here for them.

They haven’t gone through many things in their young lives yet but, between myself and my husband, we have seen it all before. What is, might be or could happen to them is not unique as teenagers have been, well, teenagers for a million years.  But they THINK it is only happening to them and has never been experienced by anyone ever. Hopefully, they feel comfortable enough to tell us about the things that bother them or the situations they might be in and we can give them a little guidance along the way.

Being a teenager is not easy.

Neither is being a parent.

Whatever you can do to keep the lines of communications open between you and them, the teachers, the guidance counselors, the friends…keep them open.

Be excited. Be worried. Be there.

Keep being the mom.

The Difference Between Your Homeowners Insurance With and Without Flood Insurance

With all the heavy rains that have happened in the last two days I was curious what kind of damage is covered by insurance. Many people who buy a home where no lake, stream or river is located nearby often opt out of flood insurance seeing as the likelihood of a flood happening as virtually impossible.  I spoke with my insurance agent Scott Doyle of First Insurance of Maine today and he gave me a little insight of homeowners insurance and what it covers.

He has received an influx of calls dealing with residents that have, unfortunately, endured damage to their basements and living quarters due to water seeping into their homes. He informed me of what your insurance covers and why.

A standard homeowners policy will cover water damage due to a leaky roof or if the sump pump in your basement fails. HOWEVER, if the damage done is caused by water flowing into your basement from holes in the walls or seeping up through the floor then that is NOT covered by the standard policy. Those types of damage require FLOOD insurance.

That’s right.

Even if you don’t live in a flood zone, the water coming into your house by these methods is caused by flooding. What happens with the heavy rain is that it finds and makes paths or tunnels through the snow due to gravity. Water will make its own trail to get to where its going. The trails lead toward the walls of your home and, ultimately, to the basement of your house. The water will eventually find the weakest point of your foundation and break through. The tunnels can be on the sides of your house and even underneath. The water that enters this way is considered to be caused by a “flood”.

And if you don’t have flood insurance on your home, the damage won’t be covered. That means if your furnace is damaged: it’s not covered. If your washer and dryer are damaged: it’s not covered. If your items are stored in cardboard boxes, whatever you have will be destroyed. If they are stored in plastic totes they have a better chance of surviving but, ultimately, they won’t be covered either.

Do yourself a favor when purchasing a home: see how much extra a flood insurance policy is. You never know what might happen. A small monthly payment could save you thousands of dollars.

Mysterious Truck Driver

In early 2000, I was a 26 year old contestant in a karaoke contest at a Skowhegan, Maine bowling alley/restaurant and lounge. If you made it to the finals you had the chance of winning $1000. I was excited because I loved to sing and we could really use the money. Back then, I was working three jobs and helping my, now former, husband get through nursing school. He would be graduating in just over a month and starting what would be his lifelong career. Myself, I was a medical biller for a mental health facility making just over $9/hour. I was also working for a temp agency and sang in a band almost every weekend until the wee hours of the morning.

 

The few trips we had made out of the state included Virginia, Florida, Tennessee and Washington, DC. This time, however, I would have to be making a trip alone. Washington D.C. in the dead of night was going to be quite the challenge.

 

The evening that I won my preliminary round of the contest I was told the date of the finals. My jaw dropped. It was the only weekend that I would not even be in Maine. The people who ran the contest looked at me incredulously. They told me I HAD to be there because I had a really good shot at winning. I needed to make a decision.

 

The reason I would not be able to participate was because we had promised my sister, who had never driven anywhere by herself, that we would travel to DC with her for the weekend. She was a huge fan of the television show, Emergency!, and her favorite actor, Randolph Mantooth, was going to be there that same weekend of the contest. He was the guest of honor at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History. There was going to be a display of memorabilia from the show and he would be there to introduce it. She really wanted to meet him.

 

I couldn’t be in two places at once.

 

When I told my husband he asked what we were going to do. We talked with my sister and hatched the plan to have him drive down with her in her car and spend the one night in the hostel we had all found in a travel book. I would drive down as soon at the contest was over and meet them at the Washington Monument the next morning at 8am.

 

At 5 am the day of the contest I wished my husband a safe trip and he left to meet my sister to travel the nearly 600 miles to their destination. I tried to go back to sleep. I took the day off specifically for that purpose but to no avail. I had always been a morning person and that day was no different.

 

I packed a light bag for the trip because I knew, win or lose, we were staying overnight and traveling back the next day. As luck would have it, I won the contest and the $1000 prize!. It was 10 o’clock at night and after changing my clothes I climbed into my 1993 Mercury Tracer and headed for the highway.

 

In 2000, I had an actual map. That’s it. No GPS. No cell phone. No English woman’s voice on an app to help guide me. It was me and the Rand McNally Road Atlas of the United States. I would travel I-95 South the entire way down.

 

As soon as I hit the Massachusetts border I noticed something peculiar. There were no cars. The only vehicles on the road were tractor trailers. When you’re under five feet tall in a compact car and there are semis in front, behind and to each side of you, you start to feel a bit nervous. I kept wondering if they could even see me at all. I found an opportunity to get to the right travel lane. I put my blinker on and it just so happened the truck in front of me put its blinker on. I moved over and so did they. When he would change lanes I did as well. This went on for a little while.

 

I finally had to pull over. Being awake for almost 20 hours was starting to take its toll on me. It was nearly 2 am and, though I had packed an overnight bag, I had failed to pack snacks. I saw the sign for the next rest stop and realized the truck was also going to rest as well. I parked my car and went to the McDonald’s to order food and a drink with caffeine. I never drank caffeinated drinks but I needed to stay awake for the rest of the drive. I looked at around at the people coming inside the building wondering if the truck driver who had been my guide was one of the patrons filing in.

 

I finished my late night snack, used the facilities and headed out. I filled the car with gas and started back on my way. I pulled back onto the highway with another six hour drive ahead of me.

 

About ten minutes down the road a truck pulled up alongside me and I saw a light go on in the cab. I saw a manly hand wave at me but that was all I could see. I turned my light on and waved back. Our lights went out and I heard his air horn blare. He sped up and pulled in front of me.

 

My truck driver was back!

 

Sure enough, the license plate was the same. It’s hard to forget when you were staring at the back end of the same truck for hours. Together until we reached DC the semi and I changed lanes. The driver would always wait for an opportunity to make certain I had enough space to change lanes with him.

 

The sun was starting to come up and the miles melted away. I started to see signs for the DC area. I knew I had to start following them. My hand reached for the signal but I didn’t really want to. I had followed the same truck for nearly 400 miles. I considered it and its driver my guardian angels. I flicked the blinker on to take the exit and I could see his hand wave out his window. I rolled down mine and waved back. He blew his horn and I exited the highway to find the Monument and my waiting family.

 

I’ll never know who he was or what triggered him to stay with me for so long or remember the name of the company he drove for. All I will remember is that this driver was a friend. He made my trip more enjoyable, less stressful and definitely more interesting. 10-3. If you're a trucker, you'll know what that means.

3 Fire Starters For Your Wood Stove

You’ve worked all day and all you can think about is coming home and starting a fire in the wood stove and curling up next to it with a cup of hot chocolate.

You bring in wood from the wood box only to find you ran out of newspaper to help start the fire. You forgot to buy fire starters at Home Depot last week and the last thing you want is to head out to the store.

If you have any of these things hanging around your house, you won’t have to venture out into the cold until the next day.

Believe it or not, dryer lint is an excellent fire starter. In my laundry room, I keep a plastic bag to collect it as I clean out the lint tray for the next load. When I’ve run out of newspaper, I’ve set it at the bottom of the stove (minus the bag), piled the wood like I taught my son in Cub Scouts and lit it. The only drawback to using dryer lint is the smell. I have dogs and cats and I wash their blankets once a week. The smell of burning animal hair isn’t exactly pleasant but it gets the job done. Light your favorite candle and the scent won’t stay around for long.

Do you make big meals on the weekend for your family? Well, save that bacon grease! When I’ve been in a bind for a fire starter, I take a paper towel and rub the grease that has gelled over a few days on the wood itself. Put a few paper towels along with the one covered in grease and light it up! There’s no creosote buildup in your chimney and the fire will be roaring in no time.

Speaking of greasy things, get out that bag of chips. Cut the calories! Your waistline will thank you for emptying a bag of potato or corn chips into the stove. Try it. If you set fire to corn chip, it acts just like a match. Now think of a bag of little matches going up in flames all at once.  It’s a cheap and easy way to start a fire when you need to.

It also never hurts to visit the neighbors. You can always go next door and ask them for their old newspapers or cardboard boxes that they would be recycling. I wouldn’t try just anything you have hanging around the house to start a fire however, these ways are proven to work. Always remember to stay safe when playing with fire. Stay warm, my chilly friends!