Honor Thy Father

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you SWEAR you could reach out and touch everything about it? Then you wake up the next day with a song that plays over and over again in your head?

That was me last night and, boy, was it a doozy. It involved baseball, Sidney Poitier and Heaven.

And it was wonderful.

To explain it, I would have to tell you more about my dad.

America’s Favorite Pastime - Baseball

My dad loved baseball. He played it growing up. He used to go to the ballfield with his friends or just play stickball in the street. And, from what he told me, he was pretty good at it. My dad took my brother to the original Shea Stadium in New York for a Mets game (something I am still envious of). He used to love the California Angels because Gene Autry, his favorite singing cowboy, was an owner. And, of course, living in Maine, he was a Red Sox fan. You would find my mom and dad glued to the tv when they played. They also watched the Little League World Series every year.

Sidney Poitier

Growing up, Saturday and Sunday afternoons were filled with my parents watching old movies. One of their favorites starred Sidney Poitier. ‘Lilies of the Field’ won him an Oscar for his portrayal of a handyman whose car breaks down at a small church somewhere in a western desert of the United States. The sisters who run the church hire him as a handyman and have him build a chapel: A chapel they had been praying for and he was the answer to their prayers…in more ways than one.

While giving them an English lesson (the sisters spoke broken English as they had been sent from Germany, Austria and Hungary), they sing a call and response hymn “Amen”. I used to sing that song around the house not knowing that, at that time, my parents gave me my first lesson in the Gospel.

The only thing I knew about God and Jesus was that Jesus was God’s son. The birth of Jesus with Mary and Joseph always came up around Christmastime. My parents had a small crèche they would set up. When we would watch ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ Linus would recite Luke 2: 8-14 from the Bible. It always made me cry yet I didn’t understand why. I never asked and no one ever told me.

Just a few short years before my dad’s passing, I asked him questions about his childhood. He told me how they went to church every Sunday, he sang in the choir and how the choirmaster took him under his wing and taught him to sing. He would then bring my dad around to area businesses and he would make a little money singing songs. The money helped his family. I had found a picture of his choirmaster and when I showed it to him, he couldn’t stop talking. So many memories flooded back to him. I wish I could have wrote them all down. I can only scribble so fast. But the time spent with him telling them was the best part.

Heaven

Although he never preached to us or spoke much about it, the Gospel was a part of his life. My parents had a huge gold-framed picture of Jesus on the wall and a statue of Mother Mary in the yard for their garden. One of the last things he said to me before he passed was “God bless that boy.”  He was referring to a photograph I showed him of my son, Anderson, wearing the tie he had specially made for him for Christmas and dad side by side in matching photos. Even though he could barely see at the end, he saw that picture when he held it up close and he teared up at the sight of it. In a shaky voice on shaky legs he said “God bless that boy.” That is something I’ll never forget.  And I am blessed to have that memory.

People, recently, have asked me personally “Why does God let things happen?” One person was referring to the murders of innocent people going on right now in Israel with their war. Another, why God would take their loved one from them and leave them so alone? Another, why would He let them die from Cancer?

I personally, believe that God doesn’t take people from us. He doesn’t strike people down with sickness. He doesn’t take their life. He is a loving and nurturing God. We were sent here to find our way back to Him. Terrible things happen in life. Heartbreaking, horrible and horrendous things. Some cannot be explained why. When a person dies, I truly believe Jesus and our Heaven Father are there to receive them. My nephew was gone from this Earth too soon but I know Heavenly Father was there to receive him when he arrived in Heaven. He also received my father with open arms. We are left here on Earth to deal with the aftermath. There is no time limit on grieving. Everyone grieves in their own way. While it may not look like I’m grieving, I am. The difference is I know they are together again and watching over us. They are happy. They are healthy. And they are perfect.

So with all this information you may wonder what “The Dream” was all about.

The Dream

It was so vivid. And it all makes so much sense when I think about.

I was walking up the steps through Fenway Park, something I have done many times, to seats along the 3^rd baseline. I could hear music coming from the tunnel. As I came closer the music got louder. When I finally reached the entrance the loudspeakers were blasting “Amen” from the movie. As I stepped closer to the front row I could see players in glowing white uniforms playing ball in the outfield. I watched and saw them throwing baseballs back and forth. One player broke from the team and trotted over to where I was standing. As he came closer it was hard to focus on him because he was so bright. He stopped just a few feet from me and after a few seconds I was able to see him clearly.

It was my dad.

Young, healthy, handsome. Just the way I thought he would be in Heaven.

In the ‘Field of Dreams’ movie, Kevin Costner said Heaven was Iowa. I think it’s Boston, now.

He was wearing a white Boston Red Sox hat but on his uniform above his left breast was a California Angels logo embroidered all in white.  He was tossing the ball in his glove over and over. I asked him “Dad, what’s going on?”

And he got this huge smile on his face. He turned and pointed his glove to the big screen. I looked up at it and there I was. I laughed and waved (Because who doesn’t do that when they see themselves on the big screen?) and said “Okay. What is happening?”

He gestured to me to look again and I did. The screen changed from my face to the words “Thank You” with God and Jesus on each side each giving me a thumbs up. The music got louder and he started to sing along with the song. He started backing away singing all the while and eventually turned and went back to his team.

I woke up to ‘Amen” in my head and it was so loud I googled the video of it and smiled. What a powerful and happy song that it.

What does it all mean?

After pondering all the things it COULD mean, all I can think of is this: I was honoring him. Not only him but my Heavenly Father as well. He was thanking me for believing in our Heavenly Father and his only begotten son, Jesus Christ. He was thanking for helping instill this knowledge in my son. He was thanking me for understanding why he is in Heaven. He was thanking me for not blaming him. He was thanking me for sharing the love my heavenly brother and father have for me.

There’s not a day that goes by I don’t think of my dad or get on my knees and pray for guidance and comfort in my life. A day I don’t ask my Heavenly Father to open the eyes of the ones that can’t see or refuse to see His love that is right there in front of them. A day I don’t thank Him for the wonderful life I have. It is because of His belief in me and my belief in Him that I can do the things I do, have the things I have, dream the dreams I dream. (Kind of like 1 Corinthians 13:7)

And that dream was the most precious one I could ever have.

 

Seminary and the New School Year

Anderson and I had a good talk the other day about serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It isn't required. It is by a person's choice to do so. He has made up his mind to go. It will happen in 4 or 5 years depending on when he turns 18. September 1st is a tough day for a birthday when you're LDS. College will have started that August so he will probably have to wait until the next year.

With it brings a list of things to do. This list becomes HIS list that includes 6am Seminary scripture study every morning before school throughout his entire high school years, saving the $10,000 to go on the mission and keeping his heart open to the possibility of wherever Heavenly Father might send him. He really wants to serve in another country which may require the learning of a new language.

I have shared with him the videos of his friends from church receiving their mission calls: some serving right here in New England, some to the western United States, one to Peru and, now, another to Copenhagen, Denmark. He jokes how he would like to be sent to Chad...because, well, he thinks it would be funny to be where his stepdad's name is. Other times he chooses Poland. Why? I have no idea. And then other times he thinks about Australia or maybe somewhere he could speak French. He loves learning the French language and can't wait for school to start to do so. He knows he can't choose WHERE but he is excited for the day when he gets that email to finally tell him where he will be spending 2 years of his young adult life preaching the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.

Just hearing that he wants to serve Heavenly Father in this way makes my heart happy and sad and scared. Happy that he will grow and learn things, meet new people and have experiences he would otherwise not have. Sad that he won't be here to hug at anytime or be just a few minutes away. Scared that he may be in another country where things aren't so pleasant.

Wherever he goes, he will have my heart with him. 💙

I came across this video of a stellar athlete Tyler Haws from Long Peak High School in Utah called A Work In Progress. It made me think of his friend, Jackson Dudley. It takes a good look into the hard work and dedication kids put into, not only sports, but their lives and trying to be the best they can be on and off the court. While Anderson isn't involved in any sports at the moment he will be looking for ways to support his high school teams and become a teammate in some way. Being part of a team helps kids learn to work with others and focus on achieving a goal. It also teaches it takes a team to do it and not just a single person. Every person has something individual to offer...being part of a team and having a good leader take those parts and intertwine them to make that whole is what makes a team great! It is my hope he can be part of a team to have that happen if not in sports then in some other way.

So in September when the 5AM alarm rings for study, the getting out of bed will eventually become routine. It will be the beginning of another chapter in his life. Not just high school but the school of life and responsibility and commitment to God, himself and who he will become. It's going to be quite the journey but I promise I will be there every step of the way.

Anderson Misses Our Cat Beanie. What Can I Tell Him?

 

What do you tell him?

Last night I was wondering why it was taking Anderson so long to get his pajamas on. When I called to him he finally came downstairs and gave me a huge hug. That’s not unusual at our house, thank goodness. I told him he looked taller and that we should measure him. When I brought him into the lighted doorway where we measure all the kids I noticed his face was splotchy. I asked him if he felt ok and he said he had been crying. I said let’s measure you first and then we’ll talk about it.

He grew a quarter of an inch! That made him feel a little better!

When I walked him back to the kitchen I asked what was making him cry. He said it was Beanie.

Our cat Beanie had to be put down a few weeks ago. Anderson had the opportunity to give her hugs and kisses a few days before when I brought him to his dads for the weekend. I told him that Sunday that Beanie had gone to Heaven.  He was sad but he said he still had his stuffed ‘Beanie’ that he made at the Benton Family Fun Park a few years ago at Teddy Mountain. There were no tears just a nod of understanding then.

Now, two weeks later, the tears started to flow. I asked him what upset him so much and he said that he missed her.  He looked up at me with his big brown eyes and looked to me for an answer.  

What do you say? I missed her, too.

I told him the only thing I could. And this is what I said:

 "I miss her, too, honey. But she is no longer in pain. Remember when I told you that when we die we go to Heaven? Well, when we get to Heaven, we are no longer in pain. We are happy and perfectly healthy. You know how Beanie was so skinny and she had a hard time lying down? Now she has more weight and no pain in her whole body. She is perfect. She is chasing butterflies and rolling in the grass and taking naps in the sunshine outside. And she is up there with Brad’s hamster (He passed away Saturday of natural causes)! This way the hamster won’t be alone.

 We all miss her but the most wonderful thing is we always have her in our hearts. And we can think about her anytime we want! And you have your stuffed ‘Beanie’ that you can hug anytime you feel you want to hug her. When we die, which will be a long time from now, we will see her again. Right now she is looking down at us from Heaven saying “Aw, they miss me. I miss them, too. But now I can look after them and help them if they need it.”

 We will always love Beanie. It’s okay to cry. Just remember, she is happy and with God and lots of other cats and dogs playing in Heaven. We can still say goodnight to her in our prayers…and she will hear them."

That made him feel much better. I took him upstairs to my closet where I keep my old photo albums. I found a picture of her and we put it on his wall. He said “This way I can see her every day!”

Death is a tough subject to talk about with kids. Whether it is a pet, a relative, a friend or even someone in the news, you just have to be honest with them. Kids aren’t stupid. They figure things out pretty well.  Tell them it’s okay to cry. It’s a natural thing to do. Always remember they are gone but not forgotten.

So, give your dog extra scratches on its belly, your cat an extra pet (before it turns on you at the drop of a hat to say ok...that’s enough!) and even your hamster a few extra minutes in the little car it can roll around on the floor in before you put it back in its cage. You never know when they might have to leave us. They love us just as much as we love them. And we will see them again.