True Tales of a Talker #5: The Connecticut Fisherman

 

Maine in summer is my favorite time of year. I love the amount of daylight, the rain and the hot, sunny days spent outside. 

Chad and I love to fish! At the beginning of this year he taught me how. It is something he has done since he was child and now he has passed it along to me. And as far as I know I'm not half bad.

We fish in a few different spots. We have gone to Lovejoy Pond in Albion, Douglas Pond in Pittsfield and frequent the Sebasticook River.

That's where we met him.

We were on our way back to the boat launch near the bridge off Peltoma Avenue when Chad had almost hooked a big bass. Our luck had not been very good that morning. Neither of us had caught anything in about 4 hours of fishing. When the bass had unexpectedly come off the hook, a frustrated Chad shouted a very colorful word. VERY colorful. So loud and so colorful it made me cringe. He was extremely mad. He then looked over to his left and said to me sheepishly "Great. And there was someone here to hear that." I looked to my left and saw him.

The Connecticut Fisherman.

He was an older gentleman in a blue single person kayak decked out with rod holder and a few other thingamabobs that Chad had probably seen in an ad from Karl's Bait and Tackle. He was a bit portly and having the life jacket around his neck made him look more so. A hat protected his head from the sun beating down on it and sunglasses protected his eyes from the reflection of it on the water. 

The thing I noticed was his smile. He was probably thinking he had been in Chad's situation a time or two before. 

As we traveled past him I waved my arm to say hi because I can't resist greeting another person. He said hello and asked how the fishing was. I answered that it wasn't so good. I had a few bass hooked but nothing I could pull into the boat and my husband's day was even worse than mine if that was possible. He said:

"That's the fun of it, isn't it? At least you're outside enjoying this beautiful day!"

How right he was. 

After two straight weeks of temperatures in the upper eighties and terrible hair-wrecking humidity (am I right, girls?), it WAS a beautiful day! It had started out overcast with nine mile an hour winds. After three hours the clouds had disappeared to leave us with sun and warmth...and no humidity. It truly had turned into a beautiful day.

When I heard his voice I knew the accent. It was definitely southern.

How could he be a Connecticut Fisherman with a southern accent?

That's where the talking comes in.

I told him "With that accent you can't be from Maine."

He laughed. He said he was from Connecticut. I told him I was too! When he asked what part I told him Milford. He said he knew where that was and asked if I had ever heard of Wauregan. I had but I couldn't tell where it was. Wauregan was close to the border of Rhode Island. He mentioned Bridgeport where my mom is from and Hartford. I told him I had relatives in those areas. The Fisherman had moved to Wauregan in 1966 from South Carolina. Wait. What?

"You have lived there for that long and still haven't lost your southern accent?"

"Yes, ma'am. It's something I've always had and will never lose. Have a great day and I hope you catch something!" He tipped his boonie hat and paddled away. I would bet my Gary Carter baseball card collection that if he hadn't had sunglasses on, we would have seen him wink at us.

Not more than five minutes later, Chad hooked a pickerel. It wasn't the bass he had wanted but it was something! When we fish we always go out hoping to catch "The Big Bass'. Instead, that day we learned a big lesson from a southern Yankee: 

There is always something to be thankful for each and every day.

Seminary and the New School Year

Anderson and I had a good talk the other day about serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It isn't required. It is by a person's choice to do so. He has made up his mind to go. It will happen in 4 or 5 years depending on when he turns 18. September 1st is a tough day for a birthday when you're LDS. College will have started that August so he will probably have to wait until the next year.

With it brings a list of things to do. This list becomes HIS list that includes 6am Seminary scripture study every morning before school throughout his entire high school years, saving the $10,000 to go on the mission and keeping his heart open to the possibility of wherever Heavenly Father might send him. He really wants to serve in another country which may require the learning of a new language.

I have shared with him the videos of his friends from church receiving their mission calls: some serving right here in New England, some to the western United States, one to Peru and, now, another to Copenhagen, Denmark. He jokes how he would like to be sent to Chad...because, well, he thinks it would be funny to be where his stepdad's name is. Other times he chooses Poland. Why? I have no idea. And then other times he thinks about Australia or maybe somewhere he could speak French. He loves learning the French language and can't wait for school to start to do so. He knows he can't choose WHERE but he is excited for the day when he gets that email to finally tell him where he will be spending 2 years of his young adult life preaching the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.

Just hearing that he wants to serve Heavenly Father in this way makes my heart happy and sad and scared. Happy that he will grow and learn things, meet new people and have experiences he would otherwise not have. Sad that he won't be here to hug at anytime or be just a few minutes away. Scared that he may be in another country where things aren't so pleasant.

Wherever he goes, he will have my heart with him. 💙

I came across this video of a stellar athlete Tyler Haws from Long Peak High School in Utah called A Work In Progress. It made me think of his friend, Jackson Dudley. It takes a good look into the hard work and dedication kids put into, not only sports, but their lives and trying to be the best they can be on and off the court. While Anderson isn't involved in any sports at the moment he will be looking for ways to support his high school teams and become a teammate in some way. Being part of a team helps kids learn to work with others and focus on achieving a goal. It also teaches it takes a team to do it and not just a single person. Every person has something individual to offer...being part of a team and having a good leader take those parts and intertwine them to make that whole is what makes a team great! It is my hope he can be part of a team to have that happen if not in sports then in some other way.

So in September when the 5AM alarm rings for study, the getting out of bed will eventually become routine. It will be the beginning of another chapter in his life. Not just high school but the school of life and responsibility and commitment to God, himself and who he will become. It's going to be quite the journey but I promise I will be there every step of the way.

I'm Actually Doing Okay

 

I’m actually doing okay.

When I walked into work this morning I received a text from my husband saying that one of his coworkers wanted some of my lasagna. A few months ago I had shared a meatloaf with him and he enjoyed it. It brought a huge smile to my face and I texted back I would make some on Sunday. It would be a nice warm meal with the temperatures slowly dropping in the evenings this September. I haven’t made it in a while and it would be nice to share because no family can go through an entire pan in one night…at least MY lasagna.

As I entered my office area I said hello to the women I work with and one of them asked me “How are you doing?” I stopped and thought about it for a second and responded “You know what? I am actually doing okay. The kids are good. Chad is good. I’m good. I’m doing okay.”

I was surprised by my answer.

Usually when the question is asked people say an automatic answer of “I’m doing fine.”

But are they REALLY?

Have you ever stopped for a second and thought about what your answer might be? Today I was able to. In the span of a instant I was able to think and realize that life IS good. So many things happen in our lives every day. Some are needed by the way of our job and family life. Kids have after school activities and you feel more like a chauffer than a parent.  Those things can keep us very busy! Some situations we create ourselves. Those things we create can diminish time we could otherwise be spending with our family. Finding a balance is not easy but can be done.

In a split second I was able to think that our bills were paid, there was food in the house, the kids were showered and clean, school was going well for them, they were happy, our jobs have been steady and secure and our relationships between the two of us and with the children were going smooth.

Things are GOOD.

It’s a scary thing!

When did it all happen? Has it been this way for a while and I just didn’t see it? The answer is YES.

If we take the time to stop and have moments in the day where we can reflect on our lives and relationships it can help us determine what we're doing right, what might need a little work or even see signs of a struggle of a loved one we’ve never noticed before.  It’s all about taking the time to slow down and breathe. I, personally, take the time to breathe by saying my daily prayers once in the morning and once before bed. For me it helps me face the day and give thanks for the one that I had. You never know when we may never get another one.

Take time to stop and breathe and realize all YOU have. It is more than you think. And you’re blessed to have it.

 

 

 

One Mom’s Dream Passed to Her Son

I didn’t plan it. I didn’t push it on him. It was something he started to take interest in at school. When he started telling me about what he was doing, I thought “He’s just like me.”

At the age of twelve, my quest in life was to become an astronaut. It was just before the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster that took the life of school teacher Christa McAuliffe that my interests began to sway toward Astronomy. The stars were all I could think about. I studied the constellations, the phases of the moon and anything else I could get my hands on within books. I stayed outside at night just to look at them.

When I was in sixth grade, there was no internet and no readily handy ways to get information quickly. To do that I would have had to walk to the library for encyclopedias or books however my parents wouldn’t let me venture out alone. Fairfield, Maine was much different from where I started to grow up. Milford, Connecticut was a busy city while Fairfield was a small town. We had moved a few years earlier and mom and dad were still adjusting. My parents held onto the fear of their children being abducted in the streets. Going any where alone was forbidden. My knowledge was limited on space but I still thirsted for it.

Fast forward to today, my son, Anderson, has a uncanny interest in space just like I had. In fourth grade, he wrote small books on almost every planet and the moon for his fellow students to read. He wanted them to learn about them as much as he had. They were complete with title and pictures.

It hasn’t stopped there. We now watch the rocket launches on our television, movies that involve space (Star Wars, October Sky) and watch the meteor showers at night. The Perseid Meteor Shower is coming up this weekend. We won’t be able to watch it together on Saturday but we will on Sunday night. That will involve laying in the back of the car under blankets to stare into the night sky together and talk…about everything.

These are special moments with him I’ll never forget. Yesterday, I remembered getting in the mail when I was twelve a copy of a book that had to do with Dr. Robert Goddard, the engineer and physicist that built the first liquid-fueled rocket. Someone in my family, and I can’t remember who, sent me the book of the Goddard Rocket and Space Museum in Roswell, New Mexico. I recall reading it over and over. I found it this morning and sat down with Anderson.

I went on to tell him that my dream was to become an astronaut like him. Right away he told me I couldn’t do that because I get motion sickness. He is right. I can’t.

But he CAN.

I gave him the book I cherished so much and, with tears in my eyes, I told him “I want you to always be what you want to be. Never let anyone tell you that you can’t. Because you CAN.”

On the back of the book something caught his eye. “Mama, look!”  I followed his finger to the back cover.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The back cover had a red stamp on it that read:

COMPLIMENTS OF THE U.S. SENATE

COMMITTEE ON AERONAUTICAL AND SPACE SCIENCES

CHAIRMAN: SENATOR CLINTON P. ANDERSON, NEW MEXICO

Clinton is the town where we live and, of course, his name is Anderson. He became so excited and said “I think this is what I’m supposed to do.”

I think it is, too, and I’ll do everything I can to help him fulfill his dream.

To My Stepdaughter...From Your Stepmom

I have known you since the day I met your father. I fell in love with him that very minute. I think it’s safe to say I have loved you since that day as well.

You see, I never had a daughter of my own. I was blessed to have a son who is the same age as you. God’s plan for me was to have only one biological child but I believe He meant for me to love many children.

You are one of those.

It isn’t hard to do. You are a smart, funny, charming, beautiful 10 year old young lady and the apple of your daddy’s eye. You say the funniest things out of the blue, you forget things easily and you’re a very good student and artist. The look on your father’s face when he gets to see you is like no other. His face literally lights up. The sun rises and sets with you according to him. As his princess, you can do no wrong.

But you do.

When it happens he has to discipline you. He hates that. He feels terrible when it’s happening and like total crap when he sees your sad, puppy dog eyes.

For me, I see the love he has for you and I see the same you have for your daddy. You hug him out of the blue. You draw him silly pictures. You step on his feet and have him walk around with you as you smile up to his face. You know your daddy loves you.

I wonder if you see the love I have for you, too.

I know I’m always telling you to brush your teeth, brush your hair and pick up after yourself. I know it seems like I’m nagging but, if you notice, I tell the same thing to my son. I try to treat you equally. I’m not always successful.

I ask you to help set the table, load and unload the dishwasher and load and unload the dryer. I tell the same thing to my son, too. You’re both 10 and are able to help around the house. That includes feeding the pets, vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom. You are always willing to help. There are even times when you ask to help.

How did I get so lucky?

One of the fun things I get to do with you is bake. I know you love to bake cupcakes and pies. I ask you to help and you put on your special apron and we do it together. I actually think you are better than me.

You also like to sew. Santa brought you the sewing machine at Christmas and we have spent quality time together making a stuffed Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, pillows and a bunch of little things. Soon I hope to teach you how to quilt. Maybe the one you make you’ll take to college with you one day to keep you warm.

Another thing is cooking. When I say “You’re cooking tomorrow” your eyes light up and you automatically plan a menu and what we will need to make it. We head to the store the next day and buy our ingredients and I teach you as much as I know about your choice of dish. To tell you a secret, you always pick things I have never cooked before so I google it during the day so we can make it that night.

See? You are helping me learn things I never knew before.

The hardest part for me is how girly you can be. Growing up, I never learned anything about makeup, ribbons, French braids and the colors pink and purple. I grew up as a tomboy and I still am for the most part. You match your outfits much better than I can. When we go school shopping, your taste in clothes blows me away.  At least we share a love of shoes!

Soon, you’ll be at the age where boys will start to be “interesting” and they will be interested in you. Your father will be on edge with ANY boy that is mentioned, written in a heart on your notebook or calls to talk to you. You’ll be asking me questions. I didn’t date until I was sixteen so I wonder what kind of help I can be to you when you start to ask for advice. I hope you feel comfortable enough to come to me when you do have questions and I hope I will be able to answer them for you. And I won’t tell dad about our conversations unless I’m worried about you. There is such a thing as Girl Code.

I know you have a mom. I know you love her very much and it’s obvious she loves you, too. You are always excited to see her when she picks you up for the weekend. I always try to make sure to send her pics of you when you are with me if you’re doing something silly or if you drew a cool picture. I also send her texts of things coming up in your life that, if she can make it, she is always invited to. I hope she enjoys them. It’s know hard for me when my son spends time with his dad and I don’t get the communication of pictures or texts. I try to make it a little easier on your mom. I hope I’m showing you that, even though divorce happens, if it ever happens to you, you can be the bigger person. It may not always feel good but God will reward you for the good things you do.

Speaking of God, I hope you hear me talk about Him. He is a huge part of my life. I would never push my religion on you. That is for you to decide. But I am glad you have an open heart. You see me and my son say prayers before every meal and before bedtime. You see us at church and when you ask to come along you voluntarily participate with the other kids. I know the young ladies enjoy spending time with you and the ladies of the church think you are bright and talented. You also see us doing God’s work. When we do things like clean up our road in the spring, hold open doors people and use our manners we feel good. When you see your dad helping our neighbors with their yard work or catching their pets that have runaway, that’s also God’s work. I always say that God’s work is doing for others and not expecting anything in return. You’re doing it out of the goodness of your heart. And there is a lot of goodness inside YOU.

You are officially my stepdaughter. That’s what the world gives you as a title. No matter what they call you, I will treat you like you are my own daughter. I will love you like you are my own daughter. When you’re hurt, I’m hurt. When you’re happy, I’m happy. There will be times when you’re older that you’ll be mad at me for disciplining you or having you pick up your room and you’ll scream “You’re not my mother!” and slam your door. I’ll expect that and it will hurt me. I’ll let it go because that’s all I can do.  I know that won’t be the reason you’re mad at me. Just know that I will be there for you in every way possible as long as you’ll have me. 

I love your father. You are a part of him. I love you, too. I am so glad he brought you into my life. I have enjoyed watching you grow into the wonderful young woman you are and I can’t wait to see what your life brings you. We will always be there for you and will always try to do our best to do what’s right for you. 

A Baseball Mom's Story

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."-Winston Churchill

He was stuffing his mouth with the last two popcorn chicken Chad had made for lunch. We had been rushing around trying to finish our errands for the day. Sundays are busy for us. I pick up Anderson after church and try and visit my parents. Anderson loves to see them. Since they are housebound we travel to see them. They love his visits. Today my mom had him giggling about something. When we're there, he likes to help out. He changes the cat's water and brings them things they need from other rooms. He loves to talk with them. When we get ready to leave, he gives his Grammie a kiss and his Papa a firm handshake. And then a hug. He hasn't reached the age where hugs are not cool anymore. I hope he never does.

He grabbed his hat and I stuffed his glove in his bag and we piled into the car. For the next fifteen minutes it takes to get to practice, Anderson and I  discussed what it was he liked about baseball. Automatically he said "It's fun."

That's what it should be. It's what it starts out as for every child that picks up a ball and glove. If they're lucky, their coach will teach them the same thing.

At the beginning of practice, the kids were throwing to one another. There were new kids, seasoned pros and those in between. There were heated balls, rainbows and wild throws. After a few minutes the kids gather around Coach Dee who told them that "winning is great but it's not everything. The game should be fun."

They practiced grounders making sure they were "down and ready". Then it was pop flies Shouting "Mine!" & "I got it!", the kids were shagging them, stepping and throwing.

They practiced hitting plastic and rubber golf balls one child at a time while the others were in the outfield sliding across the gym floor to gather them up. The first one to hit the back wall would get a dollar. They were all swinging for the fences. After one batter finished they all scrambled to pick up as many as they could. There were seven boys at practice so they made quick work of  it.

On Anderson's turn, it became apparent he had approved from last year. His confidence had grown. He was more focused. His swing was more powerful.

He even tried pitching. He had a few nice pitches right over the plate.

Where did this kid come from?  He's growing not only as a player but as a young man. He's making choices, trying new things, finding himself and, for the most part, doing it without me. I am his driver to practice, his home catch practice partner and his cheerleader at his games.

Whatever he may lack in height he more than makes up for in his attitude. He's always smiling, always excited for practice and games. He amazes me every day. This game is something he loves, something he strives to be good at. I'm proud of the player he has become and the person he's become.

                              

Sharon's Mother's Day

 

 

It was a long time ago when my parents moved to Maine (1983). When we journeyed north from our home in Connecticut, we left behind some of my mom's favorite things: her best friend, Paula Sposili, our next door neighbor Mrs. Barris' garden and dogwood trees.

 

My mom LOVES flowers and I do, too. My favorite is the tulip. With my busy schedule it's hard to find time to grow anything....except kid appetites!

 

This Mother's Day, I wanted to do something....not for me but for my family. Fedco, up the road, has their annual Tree Sale right before Mother's Day. I had always wanted to go.

 

So I did!

 

And I did what my parents did a long time ago.

 

You see, when my brother and sisters started having children, my parents found a way to incorporate them in their everyday life.

 

They planted trees and named them after George, Katherine and Jennifer. The trees grew very tall and, unfortunately, aren't there at 33 Western Avenue in Fairfield anymore. When my parents moved, the new owners eventually cut them down. That was truly a sad day when my parents drove by and saw they weren't there anymore.

 

At their new house, they decided to do it again. A new George, Katherine and Jennifer grow tall in their backyard once again.

 

There are many trees surrounding our property that were planted before we moved here so finding a spot for new trees was kind of difficult. I decided to take a slightly different route.

 

For Jayden, I bought a butterfly bush and planted it, as it said, next to the house so it would have full sunlight. For when it blooms, it will still never be as beautiful as she has grown to be.

 

For Bradley and Anderson, I picked Silver Maples. On windy days, their leaves will shimmer in the sunlight. For them, I hope they will remember there is always a silver lining to every situation.

 

And for myself and Chad...Dawn Redwoods. These trees grow tall and straight and are pillars of strength which I hope we are to our children. They have large roots that stick out of the ground to remind them that their family "roots" for them and they can count on them to always show up when they need them.

 

I don't have the greenest thumbs and I hope all of these plants survive. At least I tried....and that's all you can do with children: Love them, give them plenty of fresh air and nutrition and nurture them until they can stand on their own.

Anderson Helps the Community

The last thing Anderson needed to complete to become a full fledged Wolf in Cub Scouts was to clean up a part of his neighborhood. Thankfully, the sun came out today and it was our chance to shine! It just so happens to be Earth Day and everything fell into place.

 

Our road is a dead end. There are 14 houses on it and not much traffic. We thought it would take us an hour to do the entire .7 miles. It didn't look that dirty when we rode in the car.

 

We were so wrong!

 

We filled 6 kitchen size trash can bags FULL of trash! We called Chad to pick up the bags as we went along and bring us more. It took us 2 whole hours to finished and, boy, were we tired!

There were 60 Budweiser glass bottles, Dunkin Donuts cups, Cumberland Farms cups, McDonald's bags and cups, Panera Bread boxes and plastic bags from every big chain grocery store.

 

It was sad. Anderson asked "Mama, why is there so much trash? I thought we loved the Earth."

 

All I could do is tell him the truth.

 

"Some people don't care about the Earth. That's why I'm glad there are people like you who do."

 

On our way down the road a few neighbors came out of their houses to thank Anderson for his good deed. He said he wants to clean our road every year.

 

The Boy/Cub Scouts of America is a wonderful organization that teaches children the importance of our world and taking care of our natural resources.

 

I am so thankful for the opportunity to help Anderson learn about the Earth and what it means to us and how to help it stay clean. Hopefully, this is a lesson he will keep with him for the rest of his life.

Who Needs Video Games? Not This Family!

In this day and age it's hard to get past all the technology out there. It's everywhere you go and kids know how to work it better than adults do. Phones with downloadable games like Candy Crush, SnapChat, Facebook...you name it, they have it. You see them glued to their phones or their iPods or, I've even seen it in church, their iPads.

 

Can you say Holy Cow? Yeah, I was a little shocked, too.

 

Xbox 360s & Playstations with shooting things, colorful screens, puppies and kitties, cars and trucks, robots and zombies, candies and clans....all designed to attract children of all ages.

 

Yes, we have a Wii system. We don't play it very much at all. Although, we have been known to play a mean basketball 3 point contest. We have even rid ourselves of television.

 

What? We can't watch live television anymore?

 

It's true! We canceled our Time Warner Cable and now only have Netflix, Google Chromecast and Youtube. We miss our favorite shows on the Discovery Channel but are able to watch them online. Gold Rush, The Curse of Oak Island, Down East Dickering, North Woods Law and shows like that we enjoy as a family.
 

As for video games....well, thankfully, we don't have the need for them. Our kids are interested in other things. They all play basketball, Anderson is in Cub Scouts and they ALL like to build things!

 

We play games as a family. We play outside on the four-wheelers as a family. In the Summer, we all target practice with bows and arrows and guns. Chad and I remember what it was like when WE were kids. That's why GAME TIME means SPORTS and BOARD GAMES!

 

You've never really experienced Yahtzee until you've played with Chad.

 

This past Christmas, my brother, Ray and his wife Nadine, gave Anderson and Brad Erector sets. My sister, Wendy, gave them activity kits that included making their own robots, machines and art. You know...old fashioned toys that make kids think. Their Aunt Audrey gave them a game called Ghost Castle which was hilarious to play (but a nightmare to put together!! LOL).We gave them kick balls and skateboards....toys for outside.

 

Not one toy received from us was a video game.

 

And they play and create everyday. Now they ASK for family game night and bring games downstairs to play!

 

The snow storm today they're calling Juno is the perfect time to play WITH your kids!

 

Get out the coloring books and crayons!

 

Get out the Lincoln Logs or Legos!

 

When was the last time you played Life or Sorry or Clue? And you have a house full of kids to play them with.

 

Don't let these games MEANT for families die! Remember how much fun they were when YOU were a kid? Spend time with YOUR KIDS and feel it all over again.