True Tales of a Talker #6: The Birthday Girl

 

When people ask me what my favorite holiday is I always answer the same: my birthday. Mine is October 6^th and I love celebrating it! I guess for one day a year it makes me feel special. In my family it marks the beginning of Christmas. Yes, the holiday is still over two months away from that date but I am the only one in my family with a birthday after July if you don’t count my dad’s which is in August. I get to signal the start of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas and all the decorating it brings.

On this particular day, I was calling Medicare for information on how to fix an MSP claim. That’s when another insurance is primary over Medicare. Things have to be just right in order for it to pay.

Gina, the representative, was very nice. It sounded like she was having a good day already. And, being me, I wanted to find out why.

I asked her flat out “Just what has you in such a great mood today?”

She answered back “It’s my birthday!”

I immediately sang the ‘Happy Birthday’ song to her. I refrained from the “Are you 1? Are you 2?” and so on.

She let out a little squeal and thanked me. I could tell she wasn't working from home as so many employees are doing at call centers during the pandemic. She was using her inside voice.

I inquired as to how she was going to celebrate. She was eager to say she celebrates for an entire week. Last week her family took her out for dinner. Another day, her husband spent the entire day with her going to their favorite places. A few nights before the kids had made her favorite for the family dinner. Just last night she went out for drinks with her coworkers.

I was amazed. "You've had quite the week! What do you plan on tonight?"

She took a deep breath and let it out. "To tell you the truth, I hope we just stay home. It's been a wonderful week but I'm kind of tired. A night in with my family relaxing would be the best thing right now."

Totally get you, girl.

She went on to help me with my claim and when we were finished I, again, wished her a very happy birthday.

I have worked on my birthday before. In fact, I remember a long time ago on my 20th birthday I was working at Ames Department Store and, much like I do now, if work needed me I never said no. Well, I can't say NEVER because I am getting better at saying no for the sake of my family and my own sanity. Back then, though, I didn't miss an opportunity to work because we had no money when my first husband and I got married. Minimum wage in 1995 was $4.25 an hour. We needed to make every penny we could.

On my birthday that year, I remember my manager, Mr. Scott Finnemore, calling me and asking me to work. I knew we had a band practice that night (or so I thought). We needed the money more than I needed to practice. I said yes and I told my husband at the time that I was going in. The person covering the front desk called out sick and they had no one.

While I jumped in the shower to get ready, my husband quietly called my workplace and explained the situation. When I came out of the bathroom I got another phone call saying they didn't need me and that the other person was coming in anyway. I thought nothing of it. I asked if they were sure because I would cover for anyone. I didn't mind. He laughed and said "Enjoy your night off." 

We went to a band member's house and it looked like no one was home. We walked into the house and the lights came on. It was a surprise party! I literally had no idea. My husband said "I had to call Ames and tell them you couldn't work tonight. We all had this planned for you." 

The next day when I walked in Mr. Finnemore wished me a belated happy birthday. I thanked him and asked how he knew. He told me that my husband had called in a panic last night and explained everything. "That's why I called you back and said we were covered." He then said "Sharon, what would ever make you think to work on your birthday?" 

I told him what my father always told me.

When you work hard and give 150% every day you WILL be rewarded. Your boss will recognize this and see the dedication you have to your work. Never slack off. You'll be better off for it.

He just looked at me, nodded and said "Okay...but next year you are not working your birthday."

I have used my father's advice every day of my life. It HAS paid off. I think every supervisor I have ever had has realized the good work ethic my parents installed in me from a young age. From working 4 jobs at once to put my first husband through nursing school to still working 4 jobs...somethings never change. Granted 3 of the jobs I have now are per diem: the radio station Cruisin' Country 93.5, the tv station WABI-TV and my band, Sharon Hood & Dixon Road. I have the best full time job in the entire world here at Maine Veterans' Homes. 

And I now take my birthdays off.

 

 

Seminary and the New School Year

Anderson and I had a good talk the other day about serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It isn't required. It is by a person's choice to do so. He has made up his mind to go. It will happen in 4 or 5 years depending on when he turns 18. September 1st is a tough day for a birthday when you're LDS. College will have started that August so he will probably have to wait until the next year.

With it brings a list of things to do. This list becomes HIS list that includes 6am Seminary scripture study every morning before school throughout his entire high school years, saving the $10,000 to go on the mission and keeping his heart open to the possibility of wherever Heavenly Father might send him. He really wants to serve in another country which may require the learning of a new language.

I have shared with him the videos of his friends from church receiving their mission calls: some serving right here in New England, some to the western United States, one to Peru and, now, another to Copenhagen, Denmark. He jokes how he would like to be sent to Chad...because, well, he thinks it would be funny to be where his stepdad's name is. Other times he chooses Poland. Why? I have no idea. And then other times he thinks about Australia or maybe somewhere he could speak French. He loves learning the French language and can't wait for school to start to do so. He knows he can't choose WHERE but he is excited for the day when he gets that email to finally tell him where he will be spending 2 years of his young adult life preaching the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.

Just hearing that he wants to serve Heavenly Father in this way makes my heart happy and sad and scared. Happy that he will grow and learn things, meet new people and have experiences he would otherwise not have. Sad that he won't be here to hug at anytime or be just a few minutes away. Scared that he may be in another country where things aren't so pleasant.

Wherever he goes, he will have my heart with him. 💙

I came across this video of a stellar athlete Tyler Haws from Long Peak High School in Utah called A Work In Progress. It made me think of his friend, Jackson Dudley. It takes a good look into the hard work and dedication kids put into, not only sports, but their lives and trying to be the best they can be on and off the court. While Anderson isn't involved in any sports at the moment he will be looking for ways to support his high school teams and become a teammate in some way. Being part of a team helps kids learn to work with others and focus on achieving a goal. It also teaches it takes a team to do it and not just a single person. Every person has something individual to offer...being part of a team and having a good leader take those parts and intertwine them to make that whole is what makes a team great! It is my hope he can be part of a team to have that happen if not in sports then in some other way.

So in September when the 5AM alarm rings for study, the getting out of bed will eventually become routine. It will be the beginning of another chapter in his life. Not just high school but the school of life and responsibility and commitment to God, himself and who he will become. It's going to be quite the journey but I promise I will be there every step of the way.

A Baseball Mom's Story

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."-Winston Churchill

He was stuffing his mouth with the last two popcorn chicken Chad had made for lunch. We had been rushing around trying to finish our errands for the day. Sundays are busy for us. I pick up Anderson after church and try and visit my parents. Anderson loves to see them. Since they are housebound we travel to see them. They love his visits. Today my mom had him giggling about something. When we're there, he likes to help out. He changes the cat's water and brings them things they need from other rooms. He loves to talk with them. When we get ready to leave, he gives his Grammie a kiss and his Papa a firm handshake. And then a hug. He hasn't reached the age where hugs are not cool anymore. I hope he never does.

He grabbed his hat and I stuffed his glove in his bag and we piled into the car. For the next fifteen minutes it takes to get to practice, Anderson and I  discussed what it was he liked about baseball. Automatically he said "It's fun."

That's what it should be. It's what it starts out as for every child that picks up a ball and glove. If they're lucky, their coach will teach them the same thing.

At the beginning of practice, the kids were throwing to one another. There were new kids, seasoned pros and those in between. There were heated balls, rainbows and wild throws. After a few minutes the kids gather around Coach Dee who told them that "winning is great but it's not everything. The game should be fun."

They practiced grounders making sure they were "down and ready". Then it was pop flies Shouting "Mine!" & "I got it!", the kids were shagging them, stepping and throwing.

They practiced hitting plastic and rubber golf balls one child at a time while the others were in the outfield sliding across the gym floor to gather them up. The first one to hit the back wall would get a dollar. They were all swinging for the fences. After one batter finished they all scrambled to pick up as many as they could. There were seven boys at practice so they made quick work of  it.

On Anderson's turn, it became apparent he had approved from last year. His confidence had grown. He was more focused. His swing was more powerful.

He even tried pitching. He had a few nice pitches right over the plate.

Where did this kid come from?  He's growing not only as a player but as a young man. He's making choices, trying new things, finding himself and, for the most part, doing it without me. I am his driver to practice, his home catch practice partner and his cheerleader at his games.

Whatever he may lack in height he more than makes up for in his attitude. He's always smiling, always excited for practice and games. He amazes me every day. This game is something he loves, something he strives to be good at. I'm proud of the player he has become and the person he's become.

                              

Sharon's Mother's Day

 

 

It was a long time ago when my parents moved to Maine (1983). When we journeyed north from our home in Connecticut, we left behind some of my mom's favorite things: her best friend, Paula Sposili, our next door neighbor Mrs. Barris' garden and dogwood trees.

 

My mom LOVES flowers and I do, too. My favorite is the tulip. With my busy schedule it's hard to find time to grow anything....except kid appetites!

 

This Mother's Day, I wanted to do something....not for me but for my family. Fedco, up the road, has their annual Tree Sale right before Mother's Day. I had always wanted to go.

 

So I did!

 

And I did what my parents did a long time ago.

 

You see, when my brother and sisters started having children, my parents found a way to incorporate them in their everyday life.

 

They planted trees and named them after George, Katherine and Jennifer. The trees grew very tall and, unfortunately, aren't there at 33 Western Avenue in Fairfield anymore. When my parents moved, the new owners eventually cut them down. That was truly a sad day when my parents drove by and saw they weren't there anymore.

 

At their new house, they decided to do it again. A new George, Katherine and Jennifer grow tall in their backyard once again.

 

There are many trees surrounding our property that were planted before we moved here so finding a spot for new trees was kind of difficult. I decided to take a slightly different route.

 

For Jayden, I bought a butterfly bush and planted it, as it said, next to the house so it would have full sunlight. For when it blooms, it will still never be as beautiful as she has grown to be.

 

For Bradley and Anderson, I picked Silver Maples. On windy days, their leaves will shimmer in the sunlight. For them, I hope they will remember there is always a silver lining to every situation.

 

And for myself and Chad...Dawn Redwoods. These trees grow tall and straight and are pillars of strength which I hope we are to our children. They have large roots that stick out of the ground to remind them that their family "roots" for them and they can count on them to always show up when they need them.

 

I don't have the greenest thumbs and I hope all of these plants survive. At least I tried....and that's all you can do with children: Love them, give them plenty of fresh air and nutrition and nurture them until they can stand on their own.

Anderson Helps the Community

The last thing Anderson needed to complete to become a full fledged Wolf in Cub Scouts was to clean up a part of his neighborhood. Thankfully, the sun came out today and it was our chance to shine! It just so happens to be Earth Day and everything fell into place.

 

Our road is a dead end. There are 14 houses on it and not much traffic. We thought it would take us an hour to do the entire .7 miles. It didn't look that dirty when we rode in the car.

 

We were so wrong!

 

We filled 6 kitchen size trash can bags FULL of trash! We called Chad to pick up the bags as we went along and bring us more. It took us 2 whole hours to finished and, boy, were we tired!

There were 60 Budweiser glass bottles, Dunkin Donuts cups, Cumberland Farms cups, McDonald's bags and cups, Panera Bread boxes and plastic bags from every big chain grocery store.

 

It was sad. Anderson asked "Mama, why is there so much trash? I thought we loved the Earth."

 

All I could do is tell him the truth.

 

"Some people don't care about the Earth. That's why I'm glad there are people like you who do."

 

On our way down the road a few neighbors came out of their houses to thank Anderson for his good deed. He said he wants to clean our road every year.

 

The Boy/Cub Scouts of America is a wonderful organization that teaches children the importance of our world and taking care of our natural resources.

 

I am so thankful for the opportunity to help Anderson learn about the Earth and what it means to us and how to help it stay clean. Hopefully, this is a lesson he will keep with him for the rest of his life.

Anderson Got Baptized Sunday!

 

Sunday morning couldn’t come fast enough for Anderson or myself. We were both so excited for this very special day!

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints…in other words…Mormon.  I was baptized Christmas Day of 1995. I’ve been to a few temples and I try and practice the Latter-Day Saint ways as best I can. I’m DEFINITELY not perfect but I try hard to be.

Anderson goes to church every Sunday thanks to his dad, Daniel and his stepmom, Lori. They are both members of the church and very active members. It was Anderson’s decision to be baptized. And on Sunday, dressed all in white, he was ready to take…the plunge!

It was a wonderful ceremony. His dad was so proud to be able to baptize him. Many family members and friends were able to make it. They counted the attendance and more people had attended the baptism than the sacrament meeting. He is one very loved young man.

I was lucky enough to be asked by Anderson to give the talk on the Holy Ghost. I wrote it and practiced it out loud a dozen times! It felt good to stand in front of the congregation that had gathered and tell him how much I loved him and how proud I was of his decision.

I spoke to him about the feeling the Holy Ghost can give, how it can help him make good decisions and that it was HIS responsibility to make the best choices he can. He is growing up and He’ll be approached by people and tempted to do things that aren’t healthy for him. I hope he is able to make the right decisions and, if he doesn’t, at least he’ll have the opportunity to repent and make them right again.

I’m not one to be all preachy about things and this is in NO WAY intended to be. I am just so proud of my son and the boy he has grown to be. I wish time would stand still sometimes. I know that the years will bring many more amazing times for us. He is already talking about getting a job so he can go to college and fund his mission with the church. He can afford to slow down a little bit. A job and being an adult will come soon enough. It’s great he wants to be so responsible but for now I think an allowance for chores is good enough!

And even though they are not members, Chad, Bradley and Jayden were all there to support him. It doesn't matter what the kids are into. We all support whatever they do. That's what being family is all about. This was a big moment in Anderson's life and they wanted to be there for him.

Thank you, Anderson, for asking me to be a part of your special day and the love you give to me and all around you. We are truly blessed to be a family.

What Would My Answer Be?

On my birthday last week, my son, Anderson, asked me a question while I was driving him to the babysitter.

“Mama, what do you want for your birthday?”

I smiled at him in the rearview mirror and said “Lots of hugs and kisses from you!”

He laughed and said “No, Mama, what do you REALLY want for your birthday?”

I answered “Lots of hugs and kisses from Chad!”

Then he got a serious look on his face.

He said “No, Mama, what have you always wanted but never got?”

THAT took me by surprise.         

I remember being in a store about 10 years ago and buying a reissued Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine that I had always wanted as a kid.

I remember my co-worker surprising me on-air with an Easy Bake Oven.

But now, at 40, what is something I’ve always wanted but never received?

I had no answer. I told him I would have to get back to him on that.

I am now 40 years old. I certainly don’t feel it. And I’m told I don’t look it. But, at 40, it was time to look back and figure out what I HAD always wanted but NEVER received.

Or should it have been, never DONE?

So, I made a list of what I wish HAD happened to me.

I wish:

1.       I had been allowed to play sports in school

2.       Someone would have taught me about girl stuff (hair, monthlies, makeup, clothes)

3.       My mother had not ripped up the letter saying I had a full scholarship to UNC

4.       I had gone for a Bachelor’s Degree

5.       I had learned to play an instrument when I was a kid

6.       I had taken dance classes

7.       I had been allowed to attend school dances

8.       I had been allowed to have sleepovers

9.       I had not paid off someone’s $25,000 worth of credit card debt and not asked for it back (Because he is living large now!)

Yes, all those things happened.  I was what they called a “late bloomer” of life. In response to all those things I wish had happened, here is what I got out of them:

1.       It wasn’t until my 30s when I was part of an actual team. I played volleyball with my co-workers for a season.

2.      I’m still learning about girl stuff. I can’t do my own hair for the life of me and I rely on my husband to pick out my clothes. From what I hear he has good taste.

3.       I didn’t get to go to UNC but I DID graduate from KVTC and I’m going back to get my bachelor’s in January.

4.      That covers #4, too!

5.      I have learned enough on piano and guitar to create my own music but I’m not proficient at any of them.

6.      I can keep a beat on my feet but just because I have rhythm doesn’t mean I’m a good dancer.

7.     That one school dance where I was the laughing stock for the rest of the school year when my mother and sister arrived and made a huge scene….yeah, I could live without that memory.  I think if I had been able to attend them regularly, I would be able to relate to make friends and make better friends now.  I have plenty of friends on Facebook but I mostly keep to myself, husband  and children. I don’t ‘hang out’ with anyone.

8.     Ahhh, the sleepover. To this day I have no idea what goes on at one. I sincerely doubt it was pillow fights in pajamas.

9.       Yup. Paid off all his debt so his credit would be good and we could buy a nice house together. Got taken on that one. It’s a good thing I’ve got the right man now.

So what is it I want? At 40 years old, you’d think I could think of something, right?

Well, I have.

I want my son to grow up and experience everything I never got a chance to do.

I want him active in sports, which he is in baseball and basketball.

Learning about boy stuff, from Chad and Boy Scouts.

He WILL go to the college of his choice!

He WILL graduate, too!

He wants to take guitar lessons when he gets older. That’s fine with me!

The boy likes to dance and I will encourage him to dance whenever he wants to. A girl loves a man who can dance! (although I will have to intervene if ‘The Sprinkler’ ever becomes his signature move).

He can attend school dances and not be afraid of his mom freaking out on him.

He can sleep at a friend’s house without his mom freaking out on him.

And he will, hopefully, learn how to handle his money. He’s done well so far. He has a savings account for his church mission and college.

That’s it. I want my son to be able to do the things I was never allowed to do. It’s not because they were bad things. Yes, my parents were overprotective but it didn’t mean they didn’t love me or want what’s best for me. They did. And I know that.  And I’m who I am today because of it.

And I hope my son will understand, even if it is 20 years from when he graduates,  at the things I say ‘no’ to and the ones I say ‘yes’ to. I hope he will look back and say “I had it pretty good….and an awesome mom.”

 

Two Different Kinds of People...One Life Together. It CAN Work!

Believe it or not, Chad and I are two COMPLETELY different kinds of people.

I know. It's like we're joined at the hip sometimes. We're newlyweds. Give us a break!

But what happens when two different kinds of people fall in love? They say opposites attract but what if it's only physical attraction? What then?

Here's a peek into the lives of two very different souls and how it CAN work!

He grew up in the country in Turner, ME….I grew up in the city in Milford, CT.

He is from a family of 5….I am from a family of 11.

He’s 6 feet  tall…...I’m only 4 foot 11.

He played baseball, basketball, did track and field….I wasn’t allowed to play sports.

He was very quiet in school....I was extremely outgoing.

He was outdoorsy with camping, hunting, fishing….I liked books and sewing.

We have different thoughts on politics, church, movies and humor. VERY DIFFERENT THOUGHTS.

But even though we are extremely different, we still find a way to make things work. We find the things that we like together and do them, like music.  We also try and do together, if only once, something the other person likes. You never know, the other person may like it, too, and we have found something else we can do together. Then, we try something entirely new. It’s possible both might like it and we have a new interest! For instance, we have found we enjoy metal detecting!

In our life together, we’ve found a way to have common ground.

We have also treated each other with RESPECT with each and every difference. Each has not tried to force their beliefs on the other. We have each been to activities for all our children to support them whether it be a baseball game, a dance recital or speaking in church. 

A relationship is compromise. A relationship is knowing who you’re with and loving them for your common ground and differences. A relationship is respecting the other person for their common ground and differences.

Is our relationship perfect? No. Do we argue?  Yes. Do we air our dirty laundry on Facebook? No.

But we try hard to make it work. And it does. And we’re happy. Want to know why?

It's because we WANT it to work.

I'm not going to lie. The past hurt. Whose doesn't? It still does every once in a while. But what needs to happen is to not let the past define your future!

Know the mistakes you made, own them and don't make them again. The new person you're with doesn't deserve them just like you don't deserve theirs.

So, will it be a chick flick or action movie Friday night? I don't know. But I DO know that spending time together snuggling on the couch under a blanket during an action movie is better than playing Candy Crush by yourself when the one you love is two feet away.

Anderson Starts 3rd Grade!

I know. I know. EVERY kid starts school. But not with the tradition Anderson and I do!

You see, every year he started a new grade, we have this special thing we do. And I hope it continues through grade 12. I think he'll be kind enough to humor his 48 year old mother then.

It's his breakfast!

Each 1st day of school starts the same: with a Happy Pancake!

This year he wants it with a '1st Day' on it. THAT was challenging but I figured it out!

Below you can see the pictures through the years...from Kindergarten all the way up to now!

It's amazing how time flies. Now, he picks out his own school clothes. He has the routine down, too. First breakfast, then brushing teeth, then clothes, then shoes...all without asking. Mom's help no longer needed except when he can't find his socks.

Parents, be active in your child's school life. Ask questions about their day, contact the teacher BEFORE the parent/teacher conference happens to see if there's anything you can do to help your child with their learning. CHECK THEIR HOMEWORK! Nothing's better than a child's face that lights up with a 'GOOD JOB!". These years are what helps them grow into the person they become. Set a good example of how they should treat THEIR children when they have them. And most of all, LOVE THEM! And show it as much as you can!

And here is the link to that wonderful poem Randy McCoy reads every year on B98.5 that makes me cry:

I Trust You'll Treat Her Well.

 

 

Anderson Visited Me at Work Today!

It's not every day your child asks 'Mama, can I go to work with you?"  And when they do, you can't wait to bring them!

But first, you must ask permission. And Anderson did just that! He said he would write a letter to Bob and ask. I presented it to Bob the next day and he approved the request. (You must do things through the proper channels.)

Today was the big day! I woke up Anderson and told him to look his best so he put on his church clothes....tie and all! If he ever works in an actual office, I think he's got the attire down.

After stopping at McDonald's for some pancakes (because you can't work on an empty stomach), we stepped into Kennebec Behavioral Health. I work in the Billing Department as a Billing Specialist. I really love my job because 1 + 1 ALWAYS equals 2! Everything is black & white. There really are no gray areas. You either get paid or you don't. Very few times do I ever have to worry about not figuring things out. 99% of the time there is always an answer.

After his big breakfast, our boss, Bob, brought in doughnuts from Tim Hortons. He offered Anderson first choice! Of course, he chose the one with the most sprinkles!

After all the food, it was time to get down to business! I told him that if he ever wanted to work in Billing, Bob needed to make sure he knew his numbers. So I gave him the test EVERY employee must take before being able to work in Billing. (wink wink) A test of addition and subtraction. Could he do it?

You better believe he could! 100%!!

 

I asked him if he knew what insurance was. He shook his head no. So I explained it to him like this:

You know how you visit the doctor or the chiropractor? Well, each time you see them, you are charged money. Would you like to pay them ALL the money?

He said no. Smart boy!

I told him that insurance is something you can buy through your work so they pay for almost all of it!

After that, I put him to work! I made him add up the columns in our report to make sure the computer system was adding them correctly. Never can be too sure, right?

When he was all done, he received a certificate!

I tell you, this kid will be ready for corporate America soon enough! He liked it so much he wants to come back! Maybe when he's old enough he can be a temp and do data entry. All I know is that he said when he gets older he wants a convertible. I told him he could start looking for a job at 15. When it comes to his financial future, I'm not worried.