Who Needs Video Games? Not This Family!

In this day and age it's hard to get past all the technology out there. It's everywhere you go and kids know how to work it better than adults do. Phones with downloadable games like Candy Crush, SnapChat, Facebook...you name it, they have it. You see them glued to their phones or their iPods or, I've even seen it in church, their iPads.

 

Can you say Holy Cow? Yeah, I was a little shocked, too.

 

Xbox 360s & Playstations with shooting things, colorful screens, puppies and kitties, cars and trucks, robots and zombies, candies and clans....all designed to attract children of all ages.

 

Yes, we have a Wii system. We don't play it very much at all. Although, we have been known to play a mean basketball 3 point contest. We have even rid ourselves of television.

 

What? We can't watch live television anymore?

 

It's true! We canceled our Time Warner Cable and now only have Netflix, Google Chromecast and Youtube. We miss our favorite shows on the Discovery Channel but are able to watch them online. Gold Rush, The Curse of Oak Island, Down East Dickering, North Woods Law and shows like that we enjoy as a family.
 

As for video games....well, thankfully, we don't have the need for them. Our kids are interested in other things. They all play basketball, Anderson is in Cub Scouts and they ALL like to build things!

 

We play games as a family. We play outside on the four-wheelers as a family. In the Summer, we all target practice with bows and arrows and guns. Chad and I remember what it was like when WE were kids. That's why GAME TIME means SPORTS and BOARD GAMES!

 

You've never really experienced Yahtzee until you've played with Chad.

 

This past Christmas, my brother, Ray and his wife Nadine, gave Anderson and Brad Erector sets. My sister, Wendy, gave them activity kits that included making their own robots, machines and art. You know...old fashioned toys that make kids think. Their Aunt Audrey gave them a game called Ghost Castle which was hilarious to play (but a nightmare to put together!! LOL).We gave them kick balls and skateboards....toys for outside.

 

Not one toy received from us was a video game.

 

And they play and create everyday. Now they ASK for family game night and bring games downstairs to play!

 

The snow storm today they're calling Juno is the perfect time to play WITH your kids!

 

Get out the coloring books and crayons!

 

Get out the Lincoln Logs or Legos!

 

When was the last time you played Life or Sorry or Clue? And you have a house full of kids to play them with.

 

Don't let these games MEANT for families die! Remember how much fun they were when YOU were a kid? Spend time with YOUR KIDS and feel it all over again.

Anderson Misses Our Cat Beanie. What Can I Tell Him?

 

What do you tell him?

Last night I was wondering why it was taking Anderson so long to get his pajamas on. When I called to him he finally came downstairs and gave me a huge hug. That’s not unusual at our house, thank goodness. I told him he looked taller and that we should measure him. When I brought him into the lighted doorway where we measure all the kids I noticed his face was splotchy. I asked him if he felt ok and he said he had been crying. I said let’s measure you first and then we’ll talk about it.

He grew a quarter of an inch! That made him feel a little better!

When I walked him back to the kitchen I asked what was making him cry. He said it was Beanie.

Our cat Beanie had to be put down a few weeks ago. Anderson had the opportunity to give her hugs and kisses a few days before when I brought him to his dads for the weekend. I told him that Sunday that Beanie had gone to Heaven.  He was sad but he said he still had his stuffed ‘Beanie’ that he made at the Benton Family Fun Park a few years ago at Teddy Mountain. There were no tears just a nod of understanding then.

Now, two weeks later, the tears started to flow. I asked him what upset him so much and he said that he missed her.  He looked up at me with his big brown eyes and looked to me for an answer.  

What do you say? I missed her, too.

I told him the only thing I could. And this is what I said:

 "I miss her, too, honey. But she is no longer in pain. Remember when I told you that when we die we go to Heaven? Well, when we get to Heaven, we are no longer in pain. We are happy and perfectly healthy. You know how Beanie was so skinny and she had a hard time lying down? Now she has more weight and no pain in her whole body. She is perfect. She is chasing butterflies and rolling in the grass and taking naps in the sunshine outside. And she is up there with Brad’s hamster (He passed away Saturday of natural causes)! This way the hamster won’t be alone.

 We all miss her but the most wonderful thing is we always have her in our hearts. And we can think about her anytime we want! And you have your stuffed ‘Beanie’ that you can hug anytime you feel you want to hug her. When we die, which will be a long time from now, we will see her again. Right now she is looking down at us from Heaven saying “Aw, they miss me. I miss them, too. But now I can look after them and help them if they need it.”

 We will always love Beanie. It’s okay to cry. Just remember, she is happy and with God and lots of other cats and dogs playing in Heaven. We can still say goodnight to her in our prayers…and she will hear them."

That made him feel much better. I took him upstairs to my closet where I keep my old photo albums. I found a picture of her and we put it on his wall. He said “This way I can see her every day!”

Death is a tough subject to talk about with kids. Whether it is a pet, a relative, a friend or even someone in the news, you just have to be honest with them. Kids aren’t stupid. They figure things out pretty well.  Tell them it’s okay to cry. It’s a natural thing to do. Always remember they are gone but not forgotten.

So, give your dog extra scratches on its belly, your cat an extra pet (before it turns on you at the drop of a hat to say ok...that’s enough!) and even your hamster a few extra minutes in the little car it can roll around on the floor in before you put it back in its cage. You never know when they might have to leave us. They love us just as much as we love them. And we will see them again.

Sharon Auditioned for Into The Woods and Anderson's Words of Wisdom

When I saw on my friend, Dan Kennedy’s, Facebook page that he was headed to auditions for ‘Into the Woods’ at the Waterville Opera House on Sunday, I instantly wanted to go. The show will run in April of 2015. That will be exactly 10 years since the curtain went up on it before. I was lucky enough to be cast in the role of Little Red Riding Hood.

And, as luck would have it, I went to a callback Tuesday for the same role.

I am 40 years old but, thankfully, have a youthful look about me. However, I’m not as youthful as the young ladies were that were also at call backs. I am guessing I’m 20 years older than they.

A definite disadvantage.

However, I still wanted to sing my heart out and try. And I did. The young ladies were all beautiful. All had the voices of songbirds. In other words: pretty steep competition.

Is there anything left in this old gal?

There sure is. But now, I have to be realistic. Yes, I have experience in prior productions but the director and musical director have to make very tough choices on all the different parts.

They will go with the ones that fit the parts the best. That means looks, voice and ability all rolled into one. And they always choose correctly. You must put trust in the people who are casting the players. It is their vision. Whomever they choose, they have faith in those and will guide them through the process to make this stage production as grand as the ones that came before it.

Last night when I told Anderson I had a call back for the part, he said “Mama, can I come and see you?” I told him IF I get the part that he would certainly be in the audience.

This morning he asked if I had “won” the part. I told him that I wouldn’t know for at least a week.

And then I asked him a few very important questions. Here is what transpired this morning:

“Anderson, what happens if I get the part?”

“I would get to see you, Mama, and you would be very happy.”

“Anderson, what would happen if I DIDN’T get the part?”

“I wouldn’t get to see you and you would be sad.”

“But is that okay? To be sad?”

“Yes.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you did your best."

"That's right. I did."

There is always a lesson to be taught in all different situations. The reaction and how you handle each and every situation is watched closely by little eyes and ears. I hope he remembers this lesson when he unfortunately doesn't make it on a team or, if he ever gets into theater, doesn't get the role he wants. In the words of Stephen Sondheim and his lyrics for the Witch from the upcoming performances at the Waterville Opera House:

“Careful the things you say
Children will listen
Careful the things you do
Children will see and learn
Children may not obey, but children will listen
Children will look to you for which way to turn
To learn what to be
Careful before you say "Listen to me"
Children will listen
Careful the wish you make
Wishes are children
Careful the path they take
Wishes come true, not free
Careful the spell you cast
Not just on children
Sometimes a spell may last
Past what you can see
And turn against you
Careful the tale you tell
That is the spell
Children will listen
How do you say to a child who's in flight
"Don't slip away and I won't hold so tight"
What can you say that no matter how slight
Won't be misunderstood.
What do you leave to your child when you're dead?
Only whatever you put in its head
Things that you're mother and father had said
Which were left to them too
Careful the things you say
Children will listen
Careful you do them too
Children will see
And learn
Guide them, but step away
Children will glisten
Tamper with what is true
And children will turn
If just to be free
Careful before you say
"Listen to me"
Children will listen”

Anderson Got Baptized Sunday!

 

Sunday morning couldn’t come fast enough for Anderson or myself. We were both so excited for this very special day!

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints…in other words…Mormon.  I was baptized Christmas Day of 1995. I’ve been to a few temples and I try and practice the Latter-Day Saint ways as best I can. I’m DEFINITELY not perfect but I try hard to be.

Anderson goes to church every Sunday thanks to his dad, Daniel and his stepmom, Lori. They are both members of the church and very active members. It was Anderson’s decision to be baptized. And on Sunday, dressed all in white, he was ready to take…the plunge!

It was a wonderful ceremony. His dad was so proud to be able to baptize him. Many family members and friends were able to make it. They counted the attendance and more people had attended the baptism than the sacrament meeting. He is one very loved young man.

I was lucky enough to be asked by Anderson to give the talk on the Holy Ghost. I wrote it and practiced it out loud a dozen times! It felt good to stand in front of the congregation that had gathered and tell him how much I loved him and how proud I was of his decision.

I spoke to him about the feeling the Holy Ghost can give, how it can help him make good decisions and that it was HIS responsibility to make the best choices he can. He is growing up and He’ll be approached by people and tempted to do things that aren’t healthy for him. I hope he is able to make the right decisions and, if he doesn’t, at least he’ll have the opportunity to repent and make them right again.

I’m not one to be all preachy about things and this is in NO WAY intended to be. I am just so proud of my son and the boy he has grown to be. I wish time would stand still sometimes. I know that the years will bring many more amazing times for us. He is already talking about getting a job so he can go to college and fund his mission with the church. He can afford to slow down a little bit. A job and being an adult will come soon enough. It’s great he wants to be so responsible but for now I think an allowance for chores is good enough!

And even though they are not members, Chad, Bradley and Jayden were all there to support him. It doesn't matter what the kids are into. We all support whatever they do. That's what being family is all about. This was a big moment in Anderson's life and they wanted to be there for him.

Thank you, Anderson, for asking me to be a part of your special day and the love you give to me and all around you. We are truly blessed to be a family.

What Would My Answer Be?

On my birthday last week, my son, Anderson, asked me a question while I was driving him to the babysitter.

“Mama, what do you want for your birthday?”

I smiled at him in the rearview mirror and said “Lots of hugs and kisses from you!”

He laughed and said “No, Mama, what do you REALLY want for your birthday?”

I answered “Lots of hugs and kisses from Chad!”

Then he got a serious look on his face.

He said “No, Mama, what have you always wanted but never got?”

THAT took me by surprise.         

I remember being in a store about 10 years ago and buying a reissued Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine that I had always wanted as a kid.

I remember my co-worker surprising me on-air with an Easy Bake Oven.

But now, at 40, what is something I’ve always wanted but never received?

I had no answer. I told him I would have to get back to him on that.

I am now 40 years old. I certainly don’t feel it. And I’m told I don’t look it. But, at 40, it was time to look back and figure out what I HAD always wanted but NEVER received.

Or should it have been, never DONE?

So, I made a list of what I wish HAD happened to me.

I wish:

1.       I had been allowed to play sports in school

2.       Someone would have taught me about girl stuff (hair, monthlies, makeup, clothes)

3.       My mother had not ripped up the letter saying I had a full scholarship to UNC

4.       I had gone for a Bachelor’s Degree

5.       I had learned to play an instrument when I was a kid

6.       I had taken dance classes

7.       I had been allowed to attend school dances

8.       I had been allowed to have sleepovers

9.       I had not paid off someone’s $25,000 worth of credit card debt and not asked for it back (Because he is living large now!)

Yes, all those things happened.  I was what they called a “late bloomer” of life. In response to all those things I wish had happened, here is what I got out of them:

1.       It wasn’t until my 30s when I was part of an actual team. I played volleyball with my co-workers for a season.

2.      I’m still learning about girl stuff. I can’t do my own hair for the life of me and I rely on my husband to pick out my clothes. From what I hear he has good taste.

3.       I didn’t get to go to UNC but I DID graduate from KVTC and I’m going back to get my bachelor’s in January.

4.      That covers #4, too!

5.      I have learned enough on piano and guitar to create my own music but I’m not proficient at any of them.

6.      I can keep a beat on my feet but just because I have rhythm doesn’t mean I’m a good dancer.

7.     That one school dance where I was the laughing stock for the rest of the school year when my mother and sister arrived and made a huge scene….yeah, I could live without that memory.  I think if I had been able to attend them regularly, I would be able to relate to make friends and make better friends now.  I have plenty of friends on Facebook but I mostly keep to myself, husband  and children. I don’t ‘hang out’ with anyone.

8.     Ahhh, the sleepover. To this day I have no idea what goes on at one. I sincerely doubt it was pillow fights in pajamas.

9.       Yup. Paid off all his debt so his credit would be good and we could buy a nice house together. Got taken on that one. It’s a good thing I’ve got the right man now.

So what is it I want? At 40 years old, you’d think I could think of something, right?

Well, I have.

I want my son to grow up and experience everything I never got a chance to do.

I want him active in sports, which he is in baseball and basketball.

Learning about boy stuff, from Chad and Boy Scouts.

He WILL go to the college of his choice!

He WILL graduate, too!

He wants to take guitar lessons when he gets older. That’s fine with me!

The boy likes to dance and I will encourage him to dance whenever he wants to. A girl loves a man who can dance! (although I will have to intervene if ‘The Sprinkler’ ever becomes his signature move).

He can attend school dances and not be afraid of his mom freaking out on him.

He can sleep at a friend’s house without his mom freaking out on him.

And he will, hopefully, learn how to handle his money. He’s done well so far. He has a savings account for his church mission and college.

That’s it. I want my son to be able to do the things I was never allowed to do. It’s not because they were bad things. Yes, my parents were overprotective but it didn’t mean they didn’t love me or want what’s best for me. They did. And I know that.  And I’m who I am today because of it.

And I hope my son will understand, even if it is 20 years from when he graduates,  at the things I say ‘no’ to and the ones I say ‘yes’ to. I hope he will look back and say “I had it pretty good….and an awesome mom.”

 

Alex Trebek Say Uranus In A Funny Way

I couldn't help it but I had to giggle when he said it.

Yes, I feel 13 again but when someone so serious says the word 'Uranus' in a sentence the way he did...well...let's just say it brought me back to junior high.

Alex Trebek's Uranus Faux Pas: http://youtu.be/tGUntX0NWbo

Two Different Kinds of People...One Life Together. It CAN Work!

Believe it or not, Chad and I are two COMPLETELY different kinds of people.

I know. It's like we're joined at the hip sometimes. We're newlyweds. Give us a break!

But what happens when two different kinds of people fall in love? They say opposites attract but what if it's only physical attraction? What then?

Here's a peek into the lives of two very different souls and how it CAN work!

He grew up in the country in Turner, ME….I grew up in the city in Milford, CT.

He is from a family of 5….I am from a family of 11.

He’s 6 feet  tall…...I’m only 4 foot 11.

He played baseball, basketball, did track and field….I wasn’t allowed to play sports.

He was very quiet in school....I was extremely outgoing.

He was outdoorsy with camping, hunting, fishing….I liked books and sewing.

We have different thoughts on politics, church, movies and humor. VERY DIFFERENT THOUGHTS.

But even though we are extremely different, we still find a way to make things work. We find the things that we like together and do them, like music.  We also try and do together, if only once, something the other person likes. You never know, the other person may like it, too, and we have found something else we can do together. Then, we try something entirely new. It’s possible both might like it and we have a new interest! For instance, we have found we enjoy metal detecting!

In our life together, we’ve found a way to have common ground.

We have also treated each other with RESPECT with each and every difference. Each has not tried to force their beliefs on the other. We have each been to activities for all our children to support them whether it be a baseball game, a dance recital or speaking in church. 

A relationship is compromise. A relationship is knowing who you’re with and loving them for your common ground and differences. A relationship is respecting the other person for their common ground and differences.

Is our relationship perfect? No. Do we argue?  Yes. Do we air our dirty laundry on Facebook? No.

But we try hard to make it work. And it does. And we’re happy. Want to know why?

It's because we WANT it to work.

I'm not going to lie. The past hurt. Whose doesn't? It still does every once in a while. But what needs to happen is to not let the past define your future!

Know the mistakes you made, own them and don't make them again. The new person you're with doesn't deserve them just like you don't deserve theirs.

So, will it be a chick flick or action movie Friday night? I don't know. But I DO know that spending time together snuggling on the couch under a blanket during an action movie is better than playing Candy Crush by yourself when the one you love is two feet away.