True Tales of a Talker #7: The Car Payment Collector

I never did have much luck with cars.

My husband and I leased a vehicle knowing I would most likely be over the mileage by the time the lease was up. We were going to buy it outright so I tried not to go very far over the limit. Unfortunately, family life had its way for helping me rack up the miles. We didn't want to but sometimes it would be me making the trips back and forth to Auburn more than once a week. Those miles can really add up quickly but there was no other choice at the time. It was such a great vehicle and I enjoyed driving it. I was hoping to have it for a long time.

Until the engine blew up over just over 2,000 past the warranty and two days shy of the lease being up.

Fast forward through the arguing with the dealership, finding proof of the engine known for being faulty, negotiating with the dealership and then calling the head office of the maker of the vehicle and I was fortunate to be put in a used vehicle that I had to buy outright with the $7,000 for the new engine of my old car factored in. 

In other words, I got screwed.

While paying for the "new" used car, I got a phone call six months later on a Thursday asking me for the money to pay for the overage of miles. I had forgotten that was even a thing. Since it went back to the dealership (and they auctioned it off for the bargain price of $4,000), it was completely out of my mind. You can imagine the shock of thinking there is another bill to pay on my already stretched income. They wanted $18,000!

At four o'clock in the afternoon the repayment center shuffled me around from representative to representative until a woman came on the line by the name of Audrey M. She listened to my story, the sniffling and the down right ugly crying. Do you know what the first thing she said to me was?

"Miss Sharon, I am going to make something happen for you."

And I believed her.

After forty-five minutes of sitting in my car talking to her and relaying the story of what had happened with the vehicle and the true situation of our finances, we connected with her supervisor, Carol. 

Little did I know how incredible that "something" would be. 

Miss Audrey had me retell the story to Carol. Then they said they were going to place me on hold. After being on hold for another twenty minutes (but being updated every five minutes that they were still working on things), Miss Audrey came back on the line. She said in a hushed voice "Now, I know I shouldn't tell you this, Miss Sharon, but your story touched me. I know what it's like to be in tough situations but I can tell you have an honest heart. I can tell you're not one of those people who would lie into getting a better deal. I can feel that from you. So I talked with Carol. Carol's last day at her position before taking the next step in the company is tomorrow. I asked her to do the impossible for you. And she did."

What did she do?

I was informed that she would cut the bill by eighty-five percent IF I could pay twenty payments of a negotiated amount of just over one hundred dollars a month.

That was it? 

What about the rest of it?

The rest would be forgiven. 

While still on the phone, Miss Audrey sent me the paperwork to sign. I signed it and sent it back by email right away. She then sent it to Carol who signed off on it as well. They sent me a copy.

Carol then came back on the line with us and said "This was my final act as supervisor. I think I made the good choice by making this deal. Everyone needs a break sometimes and, after talking with you, I can tell this was the right thing to do." She wished us well and hung up.

It was like a miracle!

Every month for the next twenty months I called Miss Audrey directly. She gave me her extension and I made the monthly payment with her. With each phone call, she would ask how my family was, how my band was doing and if my work was going well. In the thousands of phone call she received each month, she never forgot me.

And I'll never forget her.

To My Stepdaughter...From Your Stepmom

I have known you since the day I met your father. I fell in love with him that very minute. I think it’s safe to say I have loved you since that day as well.

You see, I never had a daughter of my own. I was blessed to have a son who is the same age as you. God’s plan for me was to have only one biological child but I believe He meant for me to love many children.

You are one of those.

It isn’t hard to do. You are a smart, funny, charming, beautiful 10 year old young lady and the apple of your daddy’s eye. You say the funniest things out of the blue, you forget things easily and you’re a very good student and artist. The look on your father’s face when he gets to see you is like no other. His face literally lights up. The sun rises and sets with you according to him. As his princess, you can do no wrong.

But you do.

When it happens he has to discipline you. He hates that. He feels terrible when it’s happening and like total crap when he sees your sad, puppy dog eyes.

For me, I see the love he has for you and I see the same you have for your daddy. You hug him out of the blue. You draw him silly pictures. You step on his feet and have him walk around with you as you smile up to his face. You know your daddy loves you.

I wonder if you see the love I have for you, too.

I know I’m always telling you to brush your teeth, brush your hair and pick up after yourself. I know it seems like I’m nagging but, if you notice, I tell the same thing to my son. I try to treat you equally. I’m not always successful.

I ask you to help set the table, load and unload the dishwasher and load and unload the dryer. I tell the same thing to my son, too. You’re both 10 and are able to help around the house. That includes feeding the pets, vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom. You are always willing to help. There are even times when you ask to help.

How did I get so lucky?

One of the fun things I get to do with you is bake. I know you love to bake cupcakes and pies. I ask you to help and you put on your special apron and we do it together. I actually think you are better than me.

You also like to sew. Santa brought you the sewing machine at Christmas and we have spent quality time together making a stuffed Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, pillows and a bunch of little things. Soon I hope to teach you how to quilt. Maybe the one you make you’ll take to college with you one day to keep you warm.

Another thing is cooking. When I say “You’re cooking tomorrow” your eyes light up and you automatically plan a menu and what we will need to make it. We head to the store the next day and buy our ingredients and I teach you as much as I know about your choice of dish. To tell you a secret, you always pick things I have never cooked before so I google it during the day so we can make it that night.

See? You are helping me learn things I never knew before.

The hardest part for me is how girly you can be. Growing up, I never learned anything about makeup, ribbons, French braids and the colors pink and purple. I grew up as a tomboy and I still am for the most part. You match your outfits much better than I can. When we go school shopping, your taste in clothes blows me away.  At least we share a love of shoes!

Soon, you’ll be at the age where boys will start to be “interesting” and they will be interested in you. Your father will be on edge with ANY boy that is mentioned, written in a heart on your notebook or calls to talk to you. You’ll be asking me questions. I didn’t date until I was sixteen so I wonder what kind of help I can be to you when you start to ask for advice. I hope you feel comfortable enough to come to me when you do have questions and I hope I will be able to answer them for you. And I won’t tell dad about our conversations unless I’m worried about you. There is such a thing as Girl Code.

I know you have a mom. I know you love her very much and it’s obvious she loves you, too. You are always excited to see her when she picks you up for the weekend. I always try to make sure to send her pics of you when you are with me if you’re doing something silly or if you drew a cool picture. I also send her texts of things coming up in your life that, if she can make it, she is always invited to. I hope she enjoys them. It’s know hard for me when my son spends time with his dad and I don’t get the communication of pictures or texts. I try to make it a little easier on your mom. I hope I’m showing you that, even though divorce happens, if it ever happens to you, you can be the bigger person. It may not always feel good but God will reward you for the good things you do.

Speaking of God, I hope you hear me talk about Him. He is a huge part of my life. I would never push my religion on you. That is for you to decide. But I am glad you have an open heart. You see me and my son say prayers before every meal and before bedtime. You see us at church and when you ask to come along you voluntarily participate with the other kids. I know the young ladies enjoy spending time with you and the ladies of the church think you are bright and talented. You also see us doing God’s work. When we do things like clean up our road in the spring, hold open doors people and use our manners we feel good. When you see your dad helping our neighbors with their yard work or catching their pets that have runaway, that’s also God’s work. I always say that God’s work is doing for others and not expecting anything in return. You’re doing it out of the goodness of your heart. And there is a lot of goodness inside YOU.

You are officially my stepdaughter. That’s what the world gives you as a title. No matter what they call you, I will treat you like you are my own daughter. I will love you like you are my own daughter. When you’re hurt, I’m hurt. When you’re happy, I’m happy. There will be times when you’re older that you’ll be mad at me for disciplining you or having you pick up your room and you’ll scream “You’re not my mother!” and slam your door. I’ll expect that and it will hurt me. I’ll let it go because that’s all I can do.  I know that won’t be the reason you’re mad at me. Just know that I will be there for you in every way possible as long as you’ll have me. 

I love your father. You are a part of him. I love you, too. I am so glad he brought you into my life. I have enjoyed watching you grow into the wonderful young woman you are and I can’t wait to see what your life brings you. We will always be there for you and will always try to do our best to do what’s right for you. 

Sharon's Mother's Day

 

 

It was a long time ago when my parents moved to Maine (1983). When we journeyed north from our home in Connecticut, we left behind some of my mom's favorite things: her best friend, Paula Sposili, our next door neighbor Mrs. Barris' garden and dogwood trees.

 

My mom LOVES flowers and I do, too. My favorite is the tulip. With my busy schedule it's hard to find time to grow anything....except kid appetites!

 

This Mother's Day, I wanted to do something....not for me but for my family. Fedco, up the road, has their annual Tree Sale right before Mother's Day. I had always wanted to go.

 

So I did!

 

And I did what my parents did a long time ago.

 

You see, when my brother and sisters started having children, my parents found a way to incorporate them in their everyday life.

 

They planted trees and named them after George, Katherine and Jennifer. The trees grew very tall and, unfortunately, aren't there at 33 Western Avenue in Fairfield anymore. When my parents moved, the new owners eventually cut them down. That was truly a sad day when my parents drove by and saw they weren't there anymore.

 

At their new house, they decided to do it again. A new George, Katherine and Jennifer grow tall in their backyard once again.

 

There are many trees surrounding our property that were planted before we moved here so finding a spot for new trees was kind of difficult. I decided to take a slightly different route.

 

For Jayden, I bought a butterfly bush and planted it, as it said, next to the house so it would have full sunlight. For when it blooms, it will still never be as beautiful as she has grown to be.

 

For Bradley and Anderson, I picked Silver Maples. On windy days, their leaves will shimmer in the sunlight. For them, I hope they will remember there is always a silver lining to every situation.

 

And for myself and Chad...Dawn Redwoods. These trees grow tall and straight and are pillars of strength which I hope we are to our children. They have large roots that stick out of the ground to remind them that their family "roots" for them and they can count on them to always show up when they need them.

 

I don't have the greenest thumbs and I hope all of these plants survive. At least I tried....and that's all you can do with children: Love them, give them plenty of fresh air and nutrition and nurture them until they can stand on their own.

Anderson Got Baptized Sunday!

 

Sunday morning couldn’t come fast enough for Anderson or myself. We were both so excited for this very special day!

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints…in other words…Mormon.  I was baptized Christmas Day of 1995. I’ve been to a few temples and I try and practice the Latter-Day Saint ways as best I can. I’m DEFINITELY not perfect but I try hard to be.

Anderson goes to church every Sunday thanks to his dad, Daniel and his stepmom, Lori. They are both members of the church and very active members. It was Anderson’s decision to be baptized. And on Sunday, dressed all in white, he was ready to take…the plunge!

It was a wonderful ceremony. His dad was so proud to be able to baptize him. Many family members and friends were able to make it. They counted the attendance and more people had attended the baptism than the sacrament meeting. He is one very loved young man.

I was lucky enough to be asked by Anderson to give the talk on the Holy Ghost. I wrote it and practiced it out loud a dozen times! It felt good to stand in front of the congregation that had gathered and tell him how much I loved him and how proud I was of his decision.

I spoke to him about the feeling the Holy Ghost can give, how it can help him make good decisions and that it was HIS responsibility to make the best choices he can. He is growing up and He’ll be approached by people and tempted to do things that aren’t healthy for him. I hope he is able to make the right decisions and, if he doesn’t, at least he’ll have the opportunity to repent and make them right again.

I’m not one to be all preachy about things and this is in NO WAY intended to be. I am just so proud of my son and the boy he has grown to be. I wish time would stand still sometimes. I know that the years will bring many more amazing times for us. He is already talking about getting a job so he can go to college and fund his mission with the church. He can afford to slow down a little bit. A job and being an adult will come soon enough. It’s great he wants to be so responsible but for now I think an allowance for chores is good enough!

And even though they are not members, Chad, Bradley and Jayden were all there to support him. It doesn't matter what the kids are into. We all support whatever they do. That's what being family is all about. This was a big moment in Anderson's life and they wanted to be there for him.

Thank you, Anderson, for asking me to be a part of your special day and the love you give to me and all around you. We are truly blessed to be a family.

Two Different Kinds of People...One Life Together. It CAN Work!

Believe it or not, Chad and I are two COMPLETELY different kinds of people.

I know. It's like we're joined at the hip sometimes. We're newlyweds. Give us a break!

But what happens when two different kinds of people fall in love? They say opposites attract but what if it's only physical attraction? What then?

Here's a peek into the lives of two very different souls and how it CAN work!

He grew up in the country in Turner, ME….I grew up in the city in Milford, CT.

He is from a family of 5….I am from a family of 11.

He’s 6 feet  tall…...I’m only 4 foot 11.

He played baseball, basketball, did track and field….I wasn’t allowed to play sports.

He was very quiet in school....I was extremely outgoing.

He was outdoorsy with camping, hunting, fishing….I liked books and sewing.

We have different thoughts on politics, church, movies and humor. VERY DIFFERENT THOUGHTS.

But even though we are extremely different, we still find a way to make things work. We find the things that we like together and do them, like music.  We also try and do together, if only once, something the other person likes. You never know, the other person may like it, too, and we have found something else we can do together. Then, we try something entirely new. It’s possible both might like it and we have a new interest! For instance, we have found we enjoy metal detecting!

In our life together, we’ve found a way to have common ground.

We have also treated each other with RESPECT with each and every difference. Each has not tried to force their beliefs on the other. We have each been to activities for all our children to support them whether it be a baseball game, a dance recital or speaking in church. 

A relationship is compromise. A relationship is knowing who you’re with and loving them for your common ground and differences. A relationship is respecting the other person for their common ground and differences.

Is our relationship perfect? No. Do we argue?  Yes. Do we air our dirty laundry on Facebook? No.

But we try hard to make it work. And it does. And we’re happy. Want to know why?

It's because we WANT it to work.

I'm not going to lie. The past hurt. Whose doesn't? It still does every once in a while. But what needs to happen is to not let the past define your future!

Know the mistakes you made, own them and don't make them again. The new person you're with doesn't deserve them just like you don't deserve theirs.

So, will it be a chick flick or action movie Friday night? I don't know. But I DO know that spending time together snuggling on the couch under a blanket during an action movie is better than playing Candy Crush by yourself when the one you love is two feet away.