What do you tell him?
Last night I was wondering why it was taking Anderson so
long to get his pajamas on. When I called to him he finally came downstairs and
gave me a huge hug. That’s not unusual at our house, thank goodness. I told him
he looked taller and that we should measure him. When I brought him into the
lighted doorway where we measure all the kids I noticed his face was splotchy.
I asked him if he felt ok and he said he had been crying. I said let’s measure
you first and then we’ll talk about it.
He grew a quarter of an inch! That made him feel a little
better!
When I walked him back to the kitchen I asked what was
making him cry. He said it was Beanie.
Our cat Beanie had to be put down a few weeks ago. Anderson
had the opportunity to give her hugs and kisses a few days before when I
brought him to his dads for the weekend. I told him that Sunday that Beanie had
gone to Heaven. He was sad but he said
he still had his stuffed ‘Beanie’ that he made at the Benton Family Fun Park a
few years ago at Teddy Mountain. There were no tears just a nod of
understanding then.
Now, two weeks later, the tears started to flow. I asked him
what upset him so much and he said that he missed her. He looked up at me with his big brown eyes and
looked to me for an answer.
What do you say? I missed her, too.
I told him the only thing I could. And this is what I said:"I miss her, too, honey. But she is no longer in pain. Remember when I told you that when we die we go to Heaven? Well, when we get to Heaven, we are no longer in pain. We are happy and perfectly healthy. You know how Beanie was so skinny and she had a hard time lying down? Now she has more weight and no pain in her whole body. She is perfect. She is chasing butterflies and rolling in the grass and taking naps in the sunshine outside. And she is up there with Brad’s hamster (He passed away Saturday of natural causes)! This way the hamster won’t be alone.
We all miss her but the most wonderful thing is we always have her in our hearts. And we can think about her anytime we want! And you have your stuffed ‘Beanie’ that you can hug anytime you feel you want to hug her. When we die, which will be a long time from now, we will see her again. Right now she is looking down at us from Heaven saying “Aw, they miss me. I miss them, too. But now I can look after them and help them if they need it.”
We will always love Beanie. It’s okay to cry. Just remember, she is happy and with God and lots of other cats and dogs playing in Heaven. We can still say goodnight to her in our prayers…and she will hear them."
That made him feel much better. I
took him upstairs to my closet where I keep my old photo albums. I found a
picture of her and we put it on his wall. He said “This way I can see her every
day!”
Death is a tough subject to talk
about with kids. Whether it is a pet, a relative, a friend or even someone in
the news, you just have to be honest with them. Kids aren’t stupid. They figure
things out pretty well. Tell them it’s
okay to cry. It’s a natural thing to do. Always remember they are gone but not
forgotten.
So, give your dog extra scratches
on its belly, your cat an extra pet (before it turns on you at the drop of a
hat to say ok...that’s enough!) and even your hamster a few extra minutes in the little
car it can roll around on the floor in before you put it back in its cage. You
never know when they might have to leave us. They love us just as much as we
love them. And we will see them again.
